Wednesday, January 30

kicking me when I'm down

Isn't it funny how when you're down, life always seems to find a way to kick you?  And then again?

I have had the shittiest of almost all shitty weeks.

And its only Wednesday.

All of my seven followers (bless you for sticking with me here) probably read last week that I've been having friend problems. I know, I know, everyone has these problems. But it still sucks. And this is pretty much my journal, so you all get to read about my problems... no matter how trivial or repeated they may be.

Back to this week.

So Friday night I hit up happy hour with some of my book club ladies for some farewell drinks. You may remember one of our ladies is moving away. So a few hours roll by, and I make the brilliant of most brilliant decisions... and yada yada yada... well... Let's just say the police and I took a little ride together.



I'm still kicking myself, but trying to stay strong and deal with whatever comes my way with grace. I deserve what I deserve.

The crappiest part is that this is the second time I've done this... classy and brilliant I know... and may lose my license for three years.

So I've been freaking out about, MOSTLY, not being able to get to work. I work two jobs, in a town 22 miles away. There are no direct bus routes. And Mr. man work in a town in the opposite direction. Not to mention that I have to be AT WORK at 6 am, and he doesn't leave until 7:30... so yeah. Stress. All my fault and totally deserved stress, but still fucking stress.


Oh you thought that was the punch line? Oh no, it gets better.

Monday, (yes two whole days later) I have to put my dog to sleep.


Fuck this shit.

My poor Murphy dog who, granted, is 15 years old, has not been doing well. Finally Sunday he decided he was done eating. I tried everything, wet food, people food, whatever. He wouldn't take it. Plus he wouldn't get up to eat, or go outside. I helped him get up against his will, he walked and go a drink of water and then slowly went and laid down again. Monday morning I had my mom check on his mid-morning when I was at work. She called and said he had fallen by the front door, couldn't get up, was crying and had peed himself. Poor poor baby. I knew it was time.

Of course, I found all this out at work.

I called the vet to make an appointment, during my shift WAITING TABLES, and she asks me, in the sweetest, softest, nicest voice possible, "So just to clarify, would like to make an appointment for a Euthenization?"


"Yes" I said, Trying to compose myself.

When I got home an hour later, he was there by the door. Clearly miserable. Clearly in pain. Clearly ready to go. I sat with him until my mom got there. He was shaking and just looking at me... with those "mom please help me it hurts" eyes. Ugghhh. I cried and tried to keep him comfortable.

That thirty minutes was probably the longest of my life. But it helped let me know that I was making the right decision. I still didn't want to get up, even when we carried him to the car... he really didn't fight.

I'll spare you the details of taking him into the vets office and staying with him through the whole ordeal... Which I'm totally glad I did, because I think it helped HIM more then it hurt me.

So yeah..... Shittest. Week. Ever.

I keep waiting for something else miserable to happen... They always come in threes... hit me life... HIT ME!

Honestly my only saving grace is that I'm heading to Las Vegas on Friday. (Thank God I was home for poor Murphy and this all didn't happen when I was gone.) I'm so looking forward to just getting away and NOT THINKING for a few days.

So yeah...

Upon my return, I'll be doing some serious personal reflection, and probably doing some revamping of my life.

RIP old friend


McGriddle Pants

Tuesday, January 22

friends. amis. fruenden.

Being a grown up is hard.

Really hard.

It seems that life loves to throw things at you when you least expect it. I'm sure we've all been there.

Personally life has been difficult for the last few years. I've relied on friends to get me through the rough times. But sometimes, friends just plain let you down. And it hurts.

One of my best friends moved her boyfriend in a few months back. And you guessed it, I've pretty much stopped hearing from her, ever. Maybe once and a while I'll get some random text, but rarely does she request to hang out. I feel like I'm always the initiator, which is exhausting. And frustrating.

I've also recently started becoming good friends with a gal from work. However she too has a boyfriend and is quite busy with him. You know, one of those who spends every waking moment with them, and pretty much never does anything on her own. Which is fine for them, but not so fine for me or a  new friendship. Meanwhile she complains about not having any friends here. *stab*. And she always refers to me as her "manager", never as her "friend" *stab stab*. And she constantly talks about moving away. *stab stab stab* And of course she pretty only much talks about work stuff, never any life stuff or whatever, that real friends talk about.

And one of my good friends from book club is moving away.


Its times like these that make you realize how important having good friends are in your life. You rely on them for support and advice and spending your down time with. Not having a close friend in your life is really difficult. At least for me. I'm definitely a few-really-close-friends gal, rather than a lots-and-lots-of-casual-friends kinda gal.

So I find myself at an impass. Spending a lot of time alone. Contemplating my thoughts. Dealing with stresses on my own, which is really kind of difficult. I love spending time with my boyfriend, but I can't really vent to HIM about problems WE may be having. I can't discuss our sex life with HIM as frankly as I can with a girl friend who can offer feminine advice on the subject.

I miss having someone to call on no matter what. No matter what time of day or night. No matter the subject. No matter how rough her day has been. That close connection, where words are not necessary. 2093392 texts are passed through out the day. Endless of bottles of wine and stories shared.

faded mornings via tumbler

Oh life.

Time to be strong and carry on.

McGriddle Pants

Saturday, January 19


An exchange: 

Cashier: Do you have a rewards card?

Me: Yup!

Cashier: Yes?

Me: Yup.

Cashier: YES.

Me: YUP.

Cashier: I always say "yes"

Me: Don't do that. It's obnoxious. The only person I let talk to me like that was my grandmother, and she's been dead for years.


*transaction ends*

Me: *Big smile, bug eyes* THANK YOU!!

Exit stage left.

And I leave you with ...
random picture of my brother on his last birthday ~ 7pm

XOXO McGriddle Pants

Tuesday, January 15

coffee understands

First of all I want to thank all my faithful readers who are still here with me.

And by faithful, I really mean, dependable, dutiful, diligent and just down right awesome. I'm pretty sure I posted like 3 blogs in all of 2012 and I know I've been slacking. To be honest, when my little baby of a blog was started I was unemployed. And over the two years of unemployment I had LOADS of time to write to my hearts content. 18 hours of couch time a day will do that for a gal.

 Anyway... Quick catch up.

My life at Sunnyside Up
I still work at L'Restaurant, managing and serving. 

But now I also manage a coffee shop in town
       (and boy do I have some stories to tell you). 

So two jobs, 
live-in boyfriend, 
book club, 
spending time with friends. 

Yeah, you can see how I've been a little lost to the blog world. 

Mr. Man and I will be celebrating three years in February!
And of course now I'm super addicted to Pinterest, so any free time I may have in the mornings and I'm planning "My Imaginary Wedding"or dinner recipes made with beer
 or which new tattoo to get. 

But I digress... 
Life is good, just very very busy.
And I love and miss you all.

And am stalking a few of you on pinterest and instagram, Muahahahaaa!
And I've downloaded the mobile Blogger app so I can post some shiz for y'all more often... 
you know... 
when I'm standing around at the coffee shop at
6 (SIX!!) am... 
waiting for the rest of the city to wake up and come and get some coffee.

So I will leave you with this:

This. Actually. Exists.

This was the best White Elephant gift ever. 
I'm thinking of going on Amazon and buying twenty-something copies.

Here are a few excerpts:

Keepin' it classy

mixin' it up

As much ranch dressing as I want???!! Yes. Please.


Finally, a recipe I can actually use.

Come and get it!

 McGriddle Pants