ups and downs, highs and lows

Man am I ever tired of feeling like shit. Not physically, emotionally.

This weekend was fantastic. Just what the doctor ordered. Sunshine and snow and lots of good company. (See yesterday's post)

However today, I feel like crappola again. I received a call from my old job, the one I reapplied for, is passing on me. They didn't even tell me what their reasons are... just that they won't be taking back.  yay.

So I've had a bowl of ice cream and I'm sitting here wrapped in my blanket on the couch. I'm going to have a few beers later on with my friend.

I really had a good feeling about this one. I've had several people tell me that it wasn't meant to be, and that something else is coming up. Though its still hard to not feel like a loser. I just wish I knew why?

The good news is that I don't have to move. Although I was kind of looking forward to that. But I don't have to relocate, make new friends, go through that whole rigga-ma-role. And I don't have to deal with anything crazy with Mr. Man just yet (moving in together or moving across the country together or breaking up). Also I have several people interested in buying my car, so I'm hoping that will be taken care of soon. Who knows, maybe I'll have to live on that money while I continue to look for work.

Until then, I'm trying to be optimistic about the interview I had last Thursday...

Happy thoughts!

yes, i'll take it!

fresh powder

champagne by the lake!

Mt. McLoughlin

Mr. Man and Myself ♥

Where's Waldo?!

Mush! Mush!! (I'm on a sled)

Carnage.

2 feet of new powder... sunshine... Gorgeous!!

seriously, i just frolicked

No, seriously. Frolicking. And it was awesome!

Today was a good day. A great day!

Today I had an interview. Yup, you read that right. Three days ago I was bitching about not having any calls and BAM! Interview. Crazy huh? I was actually in the midst of typing that post when I received a phone call wanting to schedule a phone interview the following day. I finished my post and moved on, not really wanting to jinx anything. Which is also why I didn't tell you good folks about how that went well, and that I was scheduled for a face-to-face interview today. Again, didn't want to jinx anything.

So -- because of our minor snowpocalypse last night, I was worried about making it to the interview. I had to drive about an hour to get to the location. So to be safe, I left three hours early. Hey, they were talking about all kinds of traffic issues, so I didn't want to take any chances!! And sure enough... I was there 2 hours early. Zoinks! So I watched this week's Glee episode on my phone and sipped Starbucks as not to get overly amped up while I waited for my interview.

Long story long, it went really well. I should hear back in 7-10 days, when they're done interviewing. And that coffee helped out a lot. I seemed VERY excited and was VERY talkative. It was mostly nerves, but the caffeine helped a bit, I'm sure.

And we haven't been under a "snowmaggeddon" attack like the rest of the country recently, so today's snow was pretty much the first here to stick and last more than 10 minutes.

So........

Tonight I frolicked! It was quiet and peaceful and the snow was fresh with no footprints, just begging for some frolicking. I actually skipped, and twirled around once or twice or 17 times. The cats and dog even joined me. I think they were mostly confused and wondering what the crap I was doing.

I took some pictures, although they just don't capture my ridiculous moment of pure joy.

Poor Murphy was very confused.

The kitties are fans of snow. Just not when its snowING

Mischief had just jumped out of that tree. Little maniac was frolicking too.

Have a great weekend everyone!

tuesday tunes - gonna slap a bitch!!

Here's some Tuesday Tunes, just under the wire.

I was reading through my blogs today and came across one that really pissed me off. No, it wasn't a right-wing, pro-gun, "Sarah Palin for President" kind of post, which are the usual culprits of making my blood boil.

Someone, whom I normally get quite a kick out of reading, was talking about Avril Lavigne, and her new song. The post in general didn't make me mad, it was the video she posted, and the fact that she referred to Ms. Lavigne (which I pronounce as La-vigg-knee) as "punk rock".

Let me say, on behalf of punks everywhere:
Avril Lavigne is NOT PUNK ROCK. Not even a little bit. This angers all my best sentibilities. I'm not even going to get into the fact that she's not even "rock" and that she's a cupcake pop singer. Anyone who titles a song Sk8terBoi is not punk rock. I've gone to my fair share of punk shows, and love quite a few punk bands. And let me assure you, she is not, I repeat, NOT, PUNK ROCK.

Punk Rock.

Look! My hair is pink! I'm SOOOOOO punk!

Not to mention she looks like she has fangs. Seriously. What's going on with her teeth? Did she get those filed? I digress...

Is she a vampire or a werewolf?

Now the other reason I hated this post was that her new video is so beyond stupid. I refuse to post it here, but its called "What the Hell" or some shit. She just runs around like a little asshole, doing whatever she wants, wrecking a cab, flirting with guys, stealing clothes, even if it clearly upsets her boyfriend. What the hell!

That, and stupid lyrics and you get a song more poppy that anything Ms. Spears has ever put out. And to top it all off, there's at least 5 blatant product placements in the video, including her own clothing line and perfume. What is she, a Kardashian?

Barf.

Leave the punk rocking to the real punks please. Real punks who take a stand, fight for a cause, get angry at the government and call for action.

http://www.dailycardinal.com/news/famous-rockers-play-for-protesters-at-rally-1.2009643

Or selling T-Shirts to benefit a cause, as opposed to hawking your own stupid shit in your own stupid music video.

http://www.dropkickmurphys.com/news

"Just because we can't change everything, doesn't mean we shouldn't try to change anything at all."
-Tim McIlrath, Rise Against

Now that's punk rock.




Warning, this video is not for the faint of heart. If you are an Avril Lavigne fan, you probably won't like it.

an update, some self-loathing and a little freaking out

My unemployment runs out in 3 weeks.

3 weeks!!

And I've been applying for jobs. Lots of jobs. Jobs I'm qualified to do. Jobs I'd be good at. Jobs I want to do..

In the mean time, I've gotten no calls. NONE.

So I'm really really really really starting to freak out. Like crying, hyperventilating, pacing, having-to-take-deep-breaths-and-drink-peppermint-tea-to-calm-the-fuck-down freaking out.

I'm starting to not spend any money and starting to sell my shit on line, just in case. I have no idea when more money will come in again. I will probably qualify for a "new" claim, but that will only be $150 a week, which honestly is pennies. And doesn't even cover my loan (which is co-signed by my mom and the only credit bill I'm current on), power bill and car insurance. This isn't counting cell phone, internet and heat.

So I'm starting to look for ANY kind of work. Like part-time, waitressing, whatthefuckever I can find. I applied at Staples as a cashier. I applied at Home Depot. I'm going to have to start showing up at coffee shops, restaurants and bars asking if they're hiring. Ugghhh. I hate to do that. They hate it when people do that. I have a college degree, and I can't find a job. Its so ridiculous!!! I feel like such a loser, loser, McLoser Pants.

As you know I re-applied for my old job. They called me last week to confirm that I was mobile. Of course I'm mobile! Yes!! A few days ago I emailed a current employee, who also quit and came back, about her experience. She said it took quite a while, from June to September, before she actually came back. I've also emailed old co-workers and supervisors to let them know I'm trying to come back. They all said they'd put a good word in for me. So it sounds like things sound like they're moving along, but slowly. And I still have to survive either way.

And to top it all off -- I had to replace my radiator this weekend. Luckily Mr. Man found one online for only $75 and installed it for me. SCORE! But, while he was "in there" he heard and saw some stuff that needs to be addressed soon. Like, will have to take-the-entire-motor-out to fix it, problem. And should-have-been-done-yesterday urgent. Great. I asked him if it would be worth it to fix it, or just sell my car and not have to deal with it. He said it'd probably be best to sell it. *sigh*

Well that's it. Life is pretty shitty now.

So today, I'm going to get a pedicure, a gift from Mr. Man for VDay. Then wash my car, and take some pictures to put it up on Craigslist. And finally, read my book club book (two days to finish) in the sunshine! Its actually sunny today. 45 degrees, but still sunny! I'm hoping a dose of vitamin D will make me feel better and perk up my spirits.

Happy thoughts!