Friday, February 26

monkey butt

I hate it when I get Monkey Butt.

What the fuck IS monkey butt?!

Sounds pretty gross.

Thursday, February 25

"my name is george, i'm unemployed, and i live with my parents"

Gotta say, I'm getting pretty excited about being able to change my "about me"

I will NO LONGER LIVE WITH MY PARENTS in T-minus 3 days!!

However, I will mourn the loss of the quiet Seinfeld reference.

Check it @ 2:48

Wednesday, February 24

wheres my internets at?

day 4 (FOUR!!) without internet. Stupid fucking CenturyTel or CenturyNet or whatever the hell they're called now. Assholes wait two days to come out to look at THEIR FUCKING EQUIPMENT outside the house. Don't bother telling me they came by the way. Called again today to see what the hold up was...

"That ticket has been closed."

The hell it has!! I still gots no internets!! You get your asses back out here!! Although I'm paraphrasing.

Enter another 20 minutes on the phone with wants-to-stab-his-eyes-out-IT guy, who clearly hates his job, and they're opening another Gall-Darned ticket. Fuckers.

Thank God I have internet on my phone. But its really not the same. At least I can rant. And check my facebook. Otherwise Betty Ford and I would be having some long meaningful conversations about my withdrawls...

Tuesday, February 23

my older brother

Business in the front... Party in the back. Gots to keep it clean!

Good day today. Someone today thought my brother was older than me.

He's 5 years younger than I.


Monday, February 22

mites & scabies & bedbugs... oh my!

Makes you itch just reading that huh? Yeah its pretty delicious.

A few weeks back Mr. Man and I went to an Alice & Chains concert. To save some money we stayed at a "budget" motel. Well, fast forward 2 weeks, and we've both got itchey, scratchey, heebie jeeby gross mites. Although the medication is also used for scabies. GROSS!!

Not only have we been plagued by coughing, sinis infections, phlegm and mucus... but now this.

I mean... really? What. The. Fuck.

So now after 3 weeks of sick, we get this. Luckily Mr. Man went to the Dr. for his cough and mentioned he'd been itchy. I too had been itchy but didn't think too much of it besides possible allergies or something. Turns out our budget motel set upon us a pestilence of mites, only to be cured by a prescription all over body cream, washing all the bedding in hot water (great for great-grandma's wool quilt) and vacuuming up a storm.

Fun times.

I hope you have a better start to the week than we did...

Sunday, February 21

he's a superfreak! he's superfreakkkky

Don't worry this isn't a anti- or pro-war blog... I for the most part try to keep this place politics free... just read its really interesting!!


"From 2002 to 2008, the United States was fighting bloody wars in Afghanistan and Iraq; among active military personnel, there were an average of 1,643 fatalities per year. But over the same stretch of time in the early 1980s, with the United States fighting no major wars, there were more than 2,100 military deaths per year. How can this possibly be?

For one, the military used to be much larger: 2.1 million on active duty in 1988 versus 1.4 million in 2008. But even the rate of death in 2008 was lower than the certain peacetime years.Some of this improvement is likely due to better medical care. But a surprising fact is that the accidental death rate for soldiers in the early 1980s was higher than the death rate by hostile fire fore very year the United Stats has been fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. It seems that practicing to fight a war can be just about as dangerous as really fighting one.

And, to further put things in perspective, think about this: since 1982, some 42,000 active U.S. military personnel have been killed-- roughly the same number of Americans who die in traffic accidents in a single year."
On an unrelated note...
I just watched The Perfect Getaway this week. The movie over all is lackluster, but the ending was kind of cool. However, I am now in love with Timothy Olyphant. He's been in tons of movies (Live Free or Die Hard, Hitman, Catch & Release, Rockstar, Dreamcatcher, Go, the Deadwood TV series, and coming soon... The Crazies), but this one... Mmmmm Mmmmm MMMMMM! Yummy!

Saturday, February 20

Thursday, February 18

Centennial Blog Post!

Happy 100th blog post to me!!! Don't worry, I started drinking around 9 am today, in preparation/celebration, so I'm already drunk. Won't you join me?

This was passed on to me by a friend, who received this "resume" at her work. Names have been changed to protect the fucking moron innocent. Please note, that this has not been changed at all. Punctuation, or lack thereof, captialization and spelling are all as they were originally submitted. I hope your computer/spellcheck/grammarcheck doesn't explode, because I know that mine almost did...

Side note, its comforting to know that people like this are my competition in the job market. There may be hope for me yet.

to company name, this is a resume on what I am qualified to do hoping you will have a place in your company for me.
I have a cdl lic, I also operate tractors, bull dozers excatators, for lifts backhoes, most any type of equipment, flat bed trucks very experence in the art of strapping and securing equipment to a railer, seed to a flat bed if you haul it I can strap it, I am a computer orentited and no about shipping and recieving, I have warehouse experence , I worked for old company when he owned t he farm in small town, I ran and operated his warehouse, I have over 2 million miles behind t he wheel in a semi, the last 7 years I owned my own truck and trailer, bad times and the ecomoney caused a fall out and we lost the truck , so I am now looking for work I have a home in small town to support and would like to keep it, have been in this house for 25 years, I am the type of person who comes to work on time and stays tell the job jobs over, my ex son in law works for you and informed me you were llooking for help "ex son in law" he can probley tell you my work etthics a re favoriable, my name is not going to get this job cell don't bother calling, I would be glad to come over and filll an application I need a job, hope to here from ya still not going to get this job


Just, wow.

Wednesday, February 17

my new place

Great news!!

I'm moving out!! YESSS! I'm finally an adult again!

Its kind of a miracle how it all happened, and Praise BE! It is happening!

Monday night I got into a HUGE fight with my dad. It was so retarded (yeah, I said retarded, so shoot me Ms. Palin). We were arguing about the dog's medicine, how much to give her, if she really needed that much, etc. I was like, "Ummmm, you know, I'm not a veterinarian, and I really don't want to make those judgement calls." Blah blah blah, yell yell yell... you get the picture.

I was so mad I was crying and yet wanted to punch something at the same time. It was not a fun night. Anyway, I had already been looking at apartments on ol' Craig's List and had already emailed on one place. As soon as the the argument was over, I got a call back about it, and I set up an appointment immediately. Next day I checked it out, loved it, filled out an application, and by the end of the day I had the place! Yesssss!!

Its a great little place, studio apt, full kitchen and bath. I'm really excited! I have no extra money for stuff, but WHO CARES!! The best part is all the utilities are included. Water, cable, Internet, heat, garbage, EVERYTHING!

I'm going to sign the papers tomorrow! And have a few celebratory beers tonight!!

Monday, February 15

monday, bloody monday

Current Obsessions
in no particular order...

barcode clutch -- fucking SWEET!

surprisingly non-vomit inducing

AE slim bootcut jeans
minimal plumber-butt

no description necessary *wink*

See it again, for the first time.
"I'm Rick James! Bitch!"

I can drink 6 of them,
and not feel like a glutonous, bloated fatty

Period. Double (not just one fuck face!) Space.
Good grammer: Not just for English Majors anymore!

Currently thinking:
"Is it normal to have blood in my kleenex after I blow my nose?"

Saturday, February 13

Thursday, February 11

VD -- and i ain't talkin 'bout venereal disease

for serious? Uggghhh...

fun fact of the day: the words "mucus" and "snot" are not in my phone's T9 dictionary.

How do I know this, you may be asking yourself... Well, my full fledged bronchial "situation" has turned sinus. Now my cough is almost gone and my nose won't stop running. My favorite products of this week are


I'm seriously so ready to be DONE being sick. Ever since I got back from vacation I've been coughey or now, phlegmy. Its so annoying! I haven't been to the gym in almost 3 weeks now! So much for all the progress I'd made and the 6 pounds I'd lost. Sheesh! I really don't want to be "that guy" who goes to the gym spreading disease and pestilence on the treadmills.

On a happy note, Mr. Man actually brought up Valentine's Day himself! WOWZAA! I've never actually, in all my 31 years, had a boyfriend on the big VD. So I've never really been one to celebrate it, other than to get drunk and watch horror movies with Sparky. But this year is different! We're going to dinner and watching a movie. Nothing too over the top, but its totally fine with me. Especially since we've only been dating for a little over a month, we don't want to push anything.

The only quirky part is, I'd really like to get him a little somethin'somethin' but not nothing too major. So... my question is... besides "man flowers" (see blow) or a new set of drill bits... what do you get a guy for the big VD without being over the top? A "hey I'm really glad I met you, you make me happy, thanks for being in my life" sort of thing?

Any ideas? Much appreciated!!

Tuesday, February 9

tuesday tunes... with bonus!

My apologies for the change in scenery AGAIN. I just really didn't like the last one, kept fucking up all my stuff! I think this one will work... for now... but I may have to ditch a couple page elements... SAD! Bear with me kiddos! Thanks! :)

on to music!

Seether - Careless Whisper (Wham! song)
Anything Journey
Alice in Chains - Angry Chair
Muse -Resistance .. these guys rock! I think their show would be amazing!!

and the "bonus" of the day, and my most awaited for sequel and movie of 2010...

Monday, February 8

i'm the man in the box

texting... the weekend... and my other random thoughts...

I'm currently having a text conversation with a friend of mine. I normally don't mind having entire conversations in a text message. It happens a lot, especially when either party is at work or doing other things. However I have a few gripes about texting in general, and mostly directed at this friend, who would never even think of reading this blog, but I just feel it needs to be said.

1. For the love of God, use punctuation.
You don't have to be totally grammatically correct, but a little something goes a long ways in interpreting what the fuck you are trying to say. Last week he sent me this:

"oh makes more sense now what restaurant sounds fun"

I mean sweet Jesus, I had to read that 6 times, out loud, before I realized there were 3 sentences in there. And what makes things worse is this friend does this all the time. So you can understand my frustration when I have to decypher what he's saying. Texting is supposed to expedite communication, not slow it down and piss me the fuck off.

*note. One of the things I absolutely love about Mr. Man is that he uses complete senences. With punctuation. And big words. No abbreviation. THANK YOU!!

2. If I don't answer you right away it means I'm doing something.
I mean, really. This is not hard concept to grasp. I was texting, got in the shower, and stepped away from the conversation for 15 minutes. When I get out I get a text saying, "Hello? What happened to you?" I'm so sorry I didn't feel the need to tell you I was going to "brb" from a fucking text conversation. We're not IMing here jackass. I believe my exact response was "I was in the shower. Calm the fuck down."

Okay, this isn't really on a texting note, but still from the same conversation...

Just because you haven't heard of something doesn't mean its not cool. I mean, some jackass yesterday said "Who is The Who?" at the Superbowl halftime show. I nearly punched the guy.

You haven't heard of improv? I'm sorry you live such a sheltered life never leave the small college town you live in. Improv is awesome. Sometimes it isn't delivered awesomely, and isn't as funny as other times, but the concept itself is awesome. Please don't make fun of me or my friends cause you're an imbocile.

Mr. Man is starting in a dart league with some of his friends and I'm going to watch. Just because you haven't heard of a dart league doesn't mean they don't exist. And your sarcasm really isn't welcome when you mock the fact that just because YOU haven't heard of it, means its dumb.

Such superirority is really an annoying characteristic. Just because you feel that you're above hanging out in bars, and because you think having more than 3 beers on a weeknight is excessive, and because you aren't a "fan" of bars doesn't mean you need to look down upon those of us who don't feel that way. I'm sorry I love beer. I'm sorry my friends and I like to go out and have fun. I'm sorry we like to get rowdy, even on a school night. FOR SHAME! Wait... I take that back. I'M NOT SORRY!!!


okay, rant over now.

Brother's wedding was AWESOME! So much fun. Really small, at a park town. About 20 close friends and family there. Then we went out for pizza and cupcakes. Its so my brother to do something like that. It was great fun! Mr. Man went with me, which was great since he was really excited to meet my family. Its really refreshing to meet someone who doesn't seem to be allergic to getting to know your family.

The Bride and Groom

The Fam
I'm either doing the robot,
or attempting to hide my brother's gut

Baby Bro and Me

Myself and Mr. Man
not an awesome pic,
but you can see a profile view of his cuteness :)

Also this weekend Mr. Man and myself went with some friends to an Alice and Chains concert. I have to say, those guys can still rock! Their new front man does a great job with songs too. I was really impressed over all. Before we went I was thinking... Hmmm... I think I know maybe 4 Alice and Chains songs? But it turns out I remember at least 10 of them. Great show, and great times! But I'm going to think twice about seeing a show at a venue that doesn't serve alcohol. I mean... WTF?!?

This week I am housesitting/dogsitting for Baby Brother and his Mrs. Its nice to have a break from the 'rents house, and have a space of "my own" even if its for 3 days!

Friday, February 5

yes or no, circle one


First off, I officially have a boyfriend now! heheee. We've been spending a lot of time together and definitely enjoying each other's company, and it just feels so easy and nice. Anyway, last night we had the very cute, very middle school talk about "our situation" and its confirmed! :) I'm seriously giddy like a school girl. Can't stop grinning. But... anyway...

other big BIG BIG news!!

Today my little brother is getting MARRIED!!!!
So excited!!
Very small, only about 15 of us there, and then out for a group dinner, with (hopefully) copious amounts of wine and beer and champagne!

So excited!! Time to go get ready. Will take lots of pics!

ohhhhhhh they grow up so fast.

Tuesday, February 2

adventures in the "Far East"

well dear followers, I've returned from my adventures in the "Far East" (New Hampshire). The last 10 days were great. Here's a few highlights:
  • took millions of pictures
  • ate shit on some icy pavement
  • caught some ridiculous bronchial bug from the airplane re-circulated air
  • blew my diet into a million pieces
  • finished 2 books (am now in love with Chuck Klosterman)
  • re-kindled old friendships
  • went snowshoeing for the first time ever
  • learned two new uses for a coffee pot (beer pitcher, and bloody mary pitcher)
So now, as I lay here in my NyQuil self-induced coma-like state, I'm trying to reflect on funny stories to tell you. I know there are many, and I think I'll have to regale you one at a time. I really need to start writing shit down when I think "oh this is funny, I should blog about this" and promptly forget said funny story 6.9 seconds later. My apologies my dear followers.

Please enjoy some pictures and I will attempt to organize my thoughts into coherent sentences.

funnily enough, NOT ONE of us remembers taking this picture

we had some trouble with the tap...
had to fill up anything and everything while it was flowing

mis amigos y yo

repurposing the coffee pot, part two

this is what happens when you're a spaz
spaz+ ice= bad news bears

snowshoeing with the fam in Southern Oregon

our waterlogged dock covered in snow

GORGEOUS morning on the lake
(of course the day we left)