First of all I want to thank all my faithful readers who are still here with me.
And by faithful, I really mean, dependable, dutiful, diligent and just down right awesome.
I'm pretty sure I posted like 3 blogs in all of 2012 and I know I've been slacking. To be honest, when my little baby of a blog was started I was unemployed. And over the two years of unemployment I had LOADS of time to write to my hearts content. 18 hours of couch time a day will do that for a gal.
Anyway...
Quick catch up.
My life at Sunnyside Up
I still work at L'Restaurant, managing and serving.
But now I also manage a coffee shop in town
(and boy do I have some stories to tell you).
So two jobs,
live-in boyfriend,
book club,
spending time with
friends.
Yeah, you can see how I've been a little lost to the blog
world.
Mr. Man and I will be celebrating three years in February!
Heydie Hydie Hodie! I know I'm MIA a LOT recently. And when I finally post, I'm putting my goodies on someone else's page! LAME! I've done a little movie review ditty for our Horrible Movie Blog Ring. Mine's currently residing over atGinny is Sassyso go check it out! If you still love me *insert guilt here*
And now......... the lovliest of the lovely, my dear Shelly from Shelly Talks has an amazeballs review for you kiddos to enjoy!
Dearly beloved...Readers of McGriddle Pants. We are gathered here today to review this thing called "Purple Rain."
Did you like that intro? It's a play on the opening credits of Purple Rain (in case you haven't watched this movie). If I could describe this movie in one word it would be "montagetastic." I mean, there's a montage just about every ten minutes, and they are amazing! Best 80s montages one could ever hope for! But let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Purple Rain is the story of a struggling singer known as "The Kid" played by Prince. I'm not sure how old he is supposed to be, he looks about 30, but he lives with his parents. His Dad is abusive towards his mother, but in all honesty, she totally deserves the beating. She can't keep up on housework. What kind of woman is that? Well, one night after his performance, The Kid meets a girl named "Appollonia" played by (ironically enough) Appollonia Kotero. --Which brings me to my next comment, all of the characters, except Prince, have the same name in real life. It actually keeps things easier for me, because I'm one of those people who can't remember characters names anyway. Except I don't know any of these actors. Oh well...ANYWAY!
Appollonia and The Kid have a turbulent relationship, but they have a lot of sex that involves rubbing of crotches and Appollonia's boobs. Maybe he's just like his mother? She was never satisfied... Or maybe he's just like his father?! I DON'T KNOW! But I do know he slaps her, and not sexually. Then one night he sees her performing in lingerie (hey it's the 80's) and he thinks he's in love with her again. Only later to see she's drunk. He tells her not to drink, he doesn't like it. Slaps her again...and then they make sexies outside, right then and there.
In the end, Prince has his shining moment, and the montages of all montages. His whole life flashes before our eyes with his deep, meaningful music. And then he becomes a talented artist with lots of ruffly shirts and assless pants that we all know and love.
I hope this review encourages everyone to go and watch this movie. I give it two ruffle shirts and red thongs up. Please be sure to check out my blog Shelly Talks Too Much and read what The REAL Mandy Moore has to say.
I write nearly the same post almost every St. Patrick's Day...
"There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were."
God isn't that the truth. I get so sick of people claiming to be Irish on St. Patrick's day. We all know those these douchebags. They're everywhere. And they really seem to crawl out of the woodwork mid-March.
I'm sorry, but unless you have an Irish accent, or parents with an Irish accent, you're fucking American. Do you have a passport from Ireland? No? Then shutthefuckup. Good Lord.
I mean, I'm all for having pride in your heritage. I'm Dutch, Scotch (Scot? Whatever. Scotch just sounds cooler.) and German. But I sure as shit don't go running around in late September (check it, that's when Oktoberfest actually is) yelling how German I am, and kicking up my heels and doing a polka jig in my lederhosen. NO. My great-grandmother was German. That makes me about 1/8th German, and not enough to run around with the German flag on my back. It just makes me love beer. I'm pretty sure its in my genes. But I digress...
Take a look around today and tonight. Listen to the morons. According to the general population, about 86.49% of America claims to be "Irish." Too bad I have to listen to douchebags all day. And no, I don't believe that you always drink Guiness. Drink a fifth of Bushmills, and we'll talk.
Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE St. Patrick's day. I mean, any reason to drink more beer than usual, green or no, is a great day in my opinion. And bars like to make the beer cheaper.
I have no clue where I found the following article, and honestly it was several years ago, so I'm sorry I'm not citing the source. My bad. If anyone finds it, let me know, and I'll cite it as the IAPEC requires. (the Internet Anti-Plagarism Enforcement Committee. Yes I made that up)
Please let me clear up a few blatantly wrong ideas people seem to have about Paddy's day.
Firstly, the next time I meet someone who says that people in Ireland don’t celebrate Paddy’s day in Ireland, I am going to punch them in the face. How people ever got that misguided idea, I don't know.
Almost as bad is the idea that it is celebrated ’better’ in the U.S. Paddy’s day here is fun, no doubt, but at the end of the day all it is is people wearing green and getting drunk. In Ireland it is a national holiday, so no one works or goes to school. It is much more of a family holiday with every little town having a parade to celebrate. It is also a true cultural event with numerous ceili (singing and dancing festivals) and sporting events taking place. Of course there is a wild night of drinking after, but drinking isn't as central to the holiday as it is in the US.
It is PaDDy's day, not PaTTy's day - I cannot stress enough that seeing it written PaTTy's day makes most real Irish people physically ill.
And as for all the fighting about where Saint Patrick came from etc, historians aren’t even sure if the guy existed for definite, so everyone needs to relax on that score!
Have fun today and tonight, and Cheers! And no pinching, that's for middle schoolers.
Holy shit, "anonymous" finally has a blog! Not that any of you would know who I'm talking about, but one of my RL friends always comments as anonymous. (She's now badheadday)Well, her New Year's Resolution was to "create" something everyday of 2011. Quite a loft goal, but pretty awesome too. She's very crafty, always doing all kinds of fun projects involving paint, or paste, or something crafty she picked up from Michael's. She's created a blog to chronicle her journey, and I hope you all check it out and support her. Maybe you'll even be inspired too! Check her out!
the 365 project
Oh-- I also kinda forgot that I have a photography blog. I've resolved to update it more often. And try to update it with pictures that I don't always put up here (repetition is boringgggg). Its nothing major, but just a fun place to put some of my many pictures. Check it out, puh-puh-please!
Hey! I know that posting videos is a pretty lame way of keeping "up to date" on a blog. However -- I literally just can't stop listening to this!!! The last 132 views are mine. Andy Sandberg is hubba hubba!! I love The Lonely Island!!
oh yeah... that's Jessica Alba... and Blake Lively.
"So this one's dedicated to them girls
who let us flop around on top of them!!"
Yup... That's us ladies. You know we let them flop all over us. And back again. And we love it. Dammit!
God Bless you VH1 Classic, and all your amazingness. Seriously. Where else do you get Metal Mania at 8:22 in the morning, and get to watch these beauties. Its a great way to start the day, I say.
Dude, Kip Winger is a little hottie. I bet he got a lot of ladies back in the day. I totally googled him and came up with this:
There's something about long locks an absurd amount of stomach hair that really do it for me. Moving on...
And honestly VH1, I love all these songs and bands, but I think quite a few of these bands don't really qualify as "metal".
Man, I'm a major fail at the last couple of Random Shit Tuesdays... And today's a wednesday and look at all these words! But I really wanted to get out some stuff from this weekend, now that I'm a little more coherent and more energized.
Friday was super awesome, setting up camp and starting up our boozey weekend with a blast. A couple of my old friends came out for some CLC's (coors light cans) and some bonfire action.
Saturday we woke up and had a bit of a slow start (due to the CLC's and BLC's). Luckily we didn't have a floating start time until noon-thirty. Once we got all situated we headed to the boat ramp. Mr. Man met us down there in his kayak. The cooler was so full, we could barely put one seven pound bag of ice in there. There were nine of us on the Raft-Like-Boat, which by the way has a 700 pound capacity... whoops!! And after this weekend has earned its own "like" page on facebook.
Saturday was pretty much a huge success. We had so much fun on the river, some more than others. One friend literally couldn't get out of the water (slippery rocks and all) without help. Then refused to sit down, so it took three of us to push him into the chair. That was pretty hilarious. And he of course passed out 3 seconds later. And my Will Truman also had too much apple pie, so we played a little prank on him...
we called him whiskers for about an hour
But honestly our second float on Sunday had the best BEST story of the weekend was the beaver story. (Even better than when I was in the water, drunk, pulling the raft-like-boat along because the current was too slow, and Journey's "Dont Stop Believin' " came on the radio [water-proof shower radio, bitches!] and we all started singing along. Then I shouted "I think this one of the best moments of my life!!" I know, right?!
Ok, back to The Beaver Story.
Floating along we saw a beaver swimming along about 20 yards off. Mr. Man was in the water for a pee-break when we spotted him. So Mr. Man decided to head on over to Old Man Beaver (that's his name now). Old Man Beaver was just chugging along going real slow.
His indian name is "Swims with Beavers"
Then Old Man beaver decided to make a left turn and started swimming right for us!! I shit you not. Closer. Closer. And closer still. We were all laughing and freaking out and then really freaking out once the beaver NEARLY FUCKING BOARDED US!! Like a foot away. I had images of him crawling aboard and causing mass carnage amongst we raft-like-boaters!! Old Man Beaver had to be blind, or deaf, or both, cause we were causing a hell of a ruckus. My roomie sort of "swooshed" him away with the oar, without hitting him in the face. He changed directions and swam ahead of us towards the other shore. Meanwhile Mr. Man is swimming after the beaver with a fucking oar!! I was freaking the fuck out. I was yelling, NO! PLEASE NO! DON'T CHASE THE BEAVER! Seriously. I was having issues. Everyone was laughing at me, cause I was freaking out. I mean, I wasn't really afraid of the beaver, I just didn't know if they're as aggressive as nutria, or rats, or whatever the fuck else is prone to attacking, biting, and giving people rabies.
So other than that, our trip was uneventful. Seriously LONG, and COLD but uneventful (we hadn't floated that trip before, so didn't know exactly how long it would take).
We had many, many, MANY awesome conversations over the weekend too, most of which I can't remember... but here's what I can remember (and yes, most of these will make no sense to those not actually involved in the conversation)
Oh, and did I mention that my friend Adri surprised me with a visit on Saturday night?! It was super awesome. And she brought an awesome present:
yeah, like we needed MORE booze. yup, we're drunks.
This weekend was so insane and awesome. I'm exhausted, bruised, sunburned, sore and hungover. It was amazingness. I've got some great tales to tell, but I'm just too tired to type any longer. Please enjoy some pics of our insanity, and stay tuned for more!! :)
The raft-like-boat!
I'm on a boat and... Its going fast and...
"Apple Pie"
A fifth of Everclear
1 gallon apple cider
1 gallon apple juice
cinnamon
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
YUMMM! (and quite dangerous!)
I think you're supposed to be inside the kayak, honey
that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, i like it!
"SUMMER IS FUCKING OVER!" We were freezing our asses off right here.
There are few words that can describe the movie I watched the other day. While browsing through my NetFlix online available movies, I came across this goddie in the "Gory Horror" section. At a whopping 68 minutes long, clad with what looks like an entire porn star cast (and with the expected acting skills to boot), and with its first boobie shot at exactly 0h0m into the film, is probably one of the funniest fucking movies I have ever seen.
And I've seen a LOT of movies.
The basic plot:
A homicidal turkey axes off college kids during Thanksgiving break.
I know, right?! Talk about a recipe for ultimate awesomeness!!
Let me get this out first so you understand what exactly what you are getting yourself into. This movie is stupid as hell so you need a sense of humor to enjoy it and that’s exactly what I did. It was a boring Tuesday evening so we decided "how could we not watch this movie?" and pressed play. The next thing I knew my sides were hurting from laughing so hard, and since its barely an hour long, we went to the store, bought more beer, and watched it again.
The turkey is pretty "gangsta" for the most part, even saying "Nice tits bitch" after he offed the topless puritan in the woods after the very first Thanksgiving. Theres also another great scene when the turkey went to some chick’s house looking for her, and her Dad answers the door dressed up as a turkey for his annual costume party. They sit there at the dinner table sipping coffee while chatting and the turkey has on these black Groucho Marx eyeglasses. Finally the turkey has had it and adds daddy to the victims list. I mean, really? HAHAA!
However I have to say that my favorite scene during the movie is when the turkey is hitchhiking and an unsuspecting driver picks him up.
seriously?
Then the driver opens the door and asks "Gas, Grass, or Ass?" The turkey basically implys he has no cash or weed, so he'll be providing sexual services to the driver, how I have no idea. The driver unzips his pants, like he's excited (?) to get head from a turkey.[Think it couldn't get any worse? Oh no, the scene goes on.]It is at this point that the turkey pulls out a shotgun (riiiight) from under his feathers and sticks it in the guys face, and then, fingerless as he may be, manages to pull the trigger and shoot the guy in the face. Oh yeah, then he steals his car and drives off.
Seriously.
No. I mean seriously.
no, seriously!
I must insist that you all watch it immediately, or buy it from Amazon.com. I guess the unrated one is 1h26 minutes, so somehow they squeak out an twenty minutes of deleted scenes.
Its cheesey at first. But I love this. I really do. Enjoy!
If you are at first lonely, be patient.
If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find its fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.
We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books, your not suppose to talk much anyway so its safe there.
There is also the gym, if your shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.
Then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.
And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.
Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid being alone principles.
The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by “chow downers”, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone.
Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.
When you are comfortable with “eat lunch and run”, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and silver wear. You’re no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo desert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.
Go to the movies. Where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no ones watching because they’re probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after-all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things. Down your back, like a book of blessings.
Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might of never happened had you not been there by yourself.
Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.
But lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.
You can stand swaffed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.
But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from pre-school over to high school groaning, we’re tokens for holding the lonely at bay.
Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.
It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relived, keeps things interesting, life’s magic brings much, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.
Take silence and respect it.
If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.
You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.
Gallagher! No suspenders or funny hat, but still pretty awesome!
He's wearing an invention of his... men's underwear with the crotch cut out. A new look for The Ladies. Getting his pies ready for some smashin!
Here's the windup...
and the PITCH! Splattttt everywhere!!
Mr. Man shields himself with our sheet of plastic! Some people, like fools, came unprepared. And were doused with everything from mustard to mashed potatoes with rice! Muahahaaa
Second chances are a good thing. Forgiveness is a gift; But never forget. (I'm sure we all know to whom this is in reference to)
If you promised days earlier to make everyone breakfast, don't puss out because you are too hungover. People are hungry and you said you would do it. Nut it up.
It really is a talent to swim, smoke, and drink simultaneously.
Team America: World Police is the best movie to quote on the 4th of July.
You also must always pronounce the country's name as Amur'ca. And say "Get 'er done"every 20-30 minutes.
Sometimes I look up to the sky and think... DAMN! Thats a whole lotta stars. I love those nights. It makes me feel so small.
If you plan on making mojitos for the day, please don't tell me I can't have any until after I've been already drinking for 4 hours already. Haven't you heard of "Beer then liquor, never sicker?!"
I'm on a boat!!
*Side note: I love my "Flock of Seagulls" bikini. Apparently my hair really does too.
*Side-side note: Don't my aviators rock?!
*Side-side-side note: I look totally fat here. Grrrrrr
When you and your over 30, thicker in the middle, not Jersey Shore tanned, friends are on a boat, it is recommended that you DO NOT tie up to a bunch of MTV Spring Break wannabes, bumping their rap music, drinking from their Solo cups. The amount of eye rolling and general feeling of disdain wafting towards you will be overwhelming. (Although mildly hilarious).
Cool Whip and fruit make a much better cake topping than traditional icing. Especially when the strawberries are perfection.
Quote of the weekend:
"We have plenty of ammo, and plenty of beer... but we're out of cigarettes and propane. I love it here cause it makes all my problems complete nonsense."
Look at me! I'm Irish!!
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
