Sunday, January 31

fish lake

greetings from Southern Oregon. i swear this is my photo, not from the internet or anything! absolutely gorgeous! 32 degrees... going showshoeing this morning without a jacket! :)

Saturday, January 30

Thursday, January 28

uber sexy, or not

Attention males:

I don't care how fat you are, how in shape you are, or how badly you want to lose weight. Please, I beg of you... DO NOT DRINK MICHELOB ULTRA. Its ridiculous! You look like a girl! Its the most unmasculine drink you can have. Here's a break down:

Michelob Ultra = 73 calories=this guy:

You have other options, which depending on what you'd like your image to be...
Whiskey = 64 calories
Bud Light = 110 calories

Just know that women judge you by what you drink. And how well you tip. But that's a whole other story all together.

Wednesday, January 20

little rhodey, et al

Rhode Island: The Smallest State, Biggest Party.
Or so I've been told... repeatedly...

Holy hell batman! I've got a busy week coming up! Here's a quick tentative schedule, so you can wait on baited breath for my alcohol-soaked, mushy, beer pong adventured, shenanigan-laiden recap upon my return.

Tonight, another date with Mr. Man. We're going to watch Star Trek at his place. I LOVVVE that movie, and he's never seen it! For shame! (but I'm one to talk, since we just watched The Goonies for the first time Sunday, as I had never seen it. Filmed in Oregon no less. I got a LOT of shit from my friends on FB for that)

Tomorrow, at the ass-crack of dawn (3am) I'll be heading up to the airport and jetting out to Little Rhodey. I'm going to visit some bad ass friends from back in my Amica days (used to work for them in CT&NY). Hitting up Providence hard tomorrow night, then heading up to NH for some snowboarding, skiing, intense beer ponging, bbqing and kegging. Isn't it nice how you can turn nouns into verbs if you so wish?

Then Monday I'll be heading south to NY to visit two friends that I haven't seen for a year. Should be sooo fun! Lots of catching up and drinks to be had! So excited!

Then Wednesday I'll fly back to PDX and drive down to my cousin's house in Redmond to help her out. She's having a "procedure" done Thursday morning and won't be able to drive. Then we'll wait for the kids to get out of school and head down to the families cabin in Southern Oregon. Hopeing to get some snowshoeing in and general tomfoolery around the fire. I'm sure there'll be wine involved. Does it sound like me, my friends, and my family are all alcoholics? Its quite possible...

Our last trip to The Shire (NH)

So excited to see my boys!!


Yay to friends!! So excited!

I'll try to keep you all appraised via mobile, but no promises!
Have a great weekend(s)!!
See ya in February. Peace Out.
~McGriddle Pants

Tuesday, January 19

swan dive

My pilates teacher today:

"If you don't squeeze it ladies, nobody else will!"

I love it.

Monday, January 18

a-town awesomeness

Well kiddos, I've been MIA this last week and for that I apologize. I'm sure you saw from my last post that I have a new gentlemen friend in my life, and we're having a great time getting to know each other. Its going very, very well, and I'm very optimistic. But I digress, I won't go on-and-on too much cause I don't want any of you to vomit over my sappiness (Brad).

I will tell you about my adventure in Albany bowling (date number two) from Wednesday night.

First off, we hit up "Lake Shore Lanes" (not anywhere near a body of water) and the place is in full red-neck/white-trash swing. It must have been league night or something cause there were manboobs o-plenty and many an ass-crack to view. But I didn't see any mullets, so that was a slight disappointment.

So we start off on our first game or so and this family comes up next to us. The parents appear to be Albany born and raised (you can just tell the type) and they have two children, both equally non-interested in the bowling adventure their parents have thrust upon them. The daughter was named Kaysea which instantly rubs me the wrong way. I have such a pet peeve about people who named their kids with fucked up names, of that have the spellings butchered. Kaysea is just another example of idiocy that makes me want to slap people. Not to mention my cousin who named her son Kebin. Yeah, that's with a "b". She must hate her son. My rule is you have to be able to spell it when you hear it, and say it when you see it. Simple right? Ahhhhh, but I digress...

Little boy son was sporting a mohawk. He was about 3 and also had a tattoo, ON HIS FOREHEAD. I'm all for kids and their creativity, and I'm sure he thought it was a great idea to put his temporary tat on his face, but really parents? You're taking the fam into public. Whatevs.

On to the best part...

After family-fun-time leaves a couple park themselves in the lane next to us to our right. Cool-guy boyfriend is boozing a pitcher of beer by himself and his lady friend is drinking some mixed drink thing (probably something off of the television, like So-Co and lime, or Bacardi & Cola, or Disirono on the rocks).

The place was extremely warm, so when cool-guy boyfriend takes off his sweatshirt, I was not surprised to see him sporting a wife-beater tank.

I think this is his older brother

The best part was about 10 minutes later his lady friend took off her sweatshirt, to show her (drumroll please) MATCHING WIFE-BEATER TANK TOP! Awwwwww, so sweet, matching $3 walmart shirts. Perhaps hers is called a hubby-beater? The help-my-boyfriend-punched-me-and-I've-fallen-and-can't-reach-the-phone-to-call-911-beater?

Just another night in Albany.

Saturday, January 16


Date 5 tonight!
Happy... Smiling... Smitten! ♥

I know, I know, makes you wanna vomit, right?!
Sorry kiddies, but I can't wipe the smile off my face!!

Tuesday, January 12

tuesday tunes

Here's my top 10 of the week (old/new, foreign/domestic):
click the links to listen, duh!!

Atreyu: Lonely
Far-Less: Roswell That Ends Well
My Chemical Romance: Sleep
Tiger Army: Forever Fades Away
Melody Gardot: Our Love is Easy
The Last Goodnight: Pictures of You
Lady Gaga: Speechless
Mad Caddies: State of Mind
Hundred Reasons: No Way Back
Real McKenzies: Droppin' Like Flies

I'm not exactly who's blog I stole this idea from, so I'm sorry if I didn't credit you properly. Hit me up if you want the some cred! or traffic. or some girl scout cookies, which are apparently on sale NOW! (damn you diet! i could really use some tag-a-longs)

Monday, January 11

academy award winning douche bag

Does anyone else get filled with rage and get a little disillusioned when you hear the words "Academy Award winner Matt Damon" ??

Yeah, you wrote a screen play that turned into a great movie. This, does not mean you can act well nor should there be any implication that you are an Academy Award winning actor. Ugghhhhh.

is this real life?

I want this sticker. I need this sticker.

In case you have lived in a box, under a bridge, down by the river for the last year, here's where this beauty came from...

Saturday, January 9

best party of my life!

Last night I had the privilege of going to an eleven year old's birthday party. This mostly consisted of spaghetti, cake, presents and... wait for it... DANCE PARTY!! WhooOOoooHoooO! Okay but really I'm not a huge "dance party" kind of gal, but its pretty hilarious to watch kids run around whacking each other with balloons and "dancing" (yeah, i don't think what they were doing could technically be defined as dancing) to awful pop music.

But the highlight of the evening was young Gavin, a short skater kid with long hair. He ran up to me, with cake in his teeth, and yelled, "I get a little crazy when I have some sugar!" and then ran off. I laughed so hard!!

Then after continuing to dance and sing along, not another 2 minutes later, he came back to say, "I think my lungs have shrunk to the size of atoms!"

enjoy the magic...

Friday, January 8

maybe they'll be gone by MLK day

Oh. My. God. Really?
Its January 7th already. You don't have to take them down, but at least turn the fuckers OFF.
My brain hurts. I have to go drink something. Strong. Make it a double.

Tuesday, January 5

"Two-Thousand Ten?" or "Twenty Ten?"

Alright! Alright already! FINE! Everybody else is posting their "resolutions" or "goals" or "life change" or whateverrr to their blogs and respective facebook pages.

I tried my hardest to resist, but cannot fight the dark side any longer. I only had a few specific goals for this year, but then decided to add a few more, and maybe add a couple from my Mighty Life List so I could check them off. Oogle and Enjoy!

1. Get into shape. I'm tired of getting winded walking up a flight of stairs, or straining to reach the remote, or have trouble clipping my toe nails. I don't want to set specific weight loss goals, since I tend to do the opposite thing on the scale. Having received a heart rate monitor watch for Christmas, I intend on putting it to good use. If you want specific goals, I hope to fit into my "skinny" jeans by my birthday (July). Those are only two sizes smaller than I am now, so its not unrealistic. Plus, I really love those jeans! Also, I'd like to enter and finish the Bend Beer Run! which is a 3 mile race starting at one brewery and finishing at another. Gotta pace myself, right?

2. Take down the Christmas lights by February 1. (Hey at least they're turned off)

3. Brew Beer. Anyone who knows me, beer is a passion. Why haven't I tackled this one yet?!? One giant step for me, One giant leap towards drunken bar-ownership.

4. Take up yoga. Yes, we'll start small on this one. How about once a month? I can probably handle that. See you there on the 31st!

5. Hey while I'm at it, let me add play more golf. Technically if I played once this year, I'd be playing more golf, since I didn't tee off once last year. Although I was working graveyard shift half the year and slept through most daylight hours. Oh, and then I broke my finger and could barely hold a beer bottle, let alone a golf club. Let's set this one at once a month.

6. Slap someone square in the face. No explanation necessary. I may, or may not, already have someone in mind.

7. Sing karaoke alone. How about something easy like Journey. Everyone can hit those Steve Perry notes right?!?

8. Conserve water. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

9. Eat one fruit and one vegetable per day. Baby steps, remember?

10. Swear less. My mother f*cking mouth is out of control. Instead I will begin using superfluous adjectives to convey my anger/joy/amusement/fury/rage/point.

And of course

11. Get a job
12. Get out of debt.
13. Move out of my parents house.
14. Finish the application process and join the peace corps
15. Create world peace
16. Win nobel peace prize
17. "eliminate" Bill O'Reilly and everyone else on Fox News.
18. Marry Robert Downey Jr.
19. Prepare for the Twitter-pocalypse
20. Donate blood (in preparation for the twitter-pocalypse)

Is curiosity killing you? Just dyying to know what my last year's resolution was?
I had only one. Stop drinking and driving.
Want to know what happened in March? Yup, DUI.

I leave you with this.

Monday, January 4

jail's not that bad

As I was randomly scrolling through my pictures from last year,
I found this golden nugget.
Sent in reference to our friend Levi's bachelor party,
which Matt was on his way to.
I love Matt.

Sunday, January 3

i guess it wasn't ALL bad...

2009 was a hum dinger of a crap-tastic year.

But as I told my mom I'm done being Negative Nancy and trying to focus on the good stuff. So here's a 2009 year wrap up, with highlights of the good stuff from this year.


met my best-friend-forever John!

Seinfeld Series Marathon!
Friends from Bend got together to watch ALLLL the
episodes... lasted about 5.5 days


Dropkick Murphy's concert in Eugene
Our PBR promo ad picture

Literally nothing good happened in March.
It was the evilest month ever.
To be DELETED from my memory.


Adriane's bachelorette party!
and my first ever performance singing Karaoke.
Bon Jovi's, Wanted dead or alive, w/the bride-to-be


Camping Memorial Day weekend!
Fun toys!!

Learned to shoot a gun
overcame a life-long fear or firearms


Levi & Amber's wedding in VEGAS!

Me & Tara sampling the fare
boozing it up in Vegas!!

Adriane's wedding!
this is before I got wasted, lost my camera,
& wandered the streets of Bend

Climbing Mt. St. Helens
Scotty, Rob, myself and Scott
one of the most physically difficult and
rewarding things I've ever done
[Read about it here]

View from the top of Mt. St. Helens
(Mt. Rainier in the distance)

Tubing down the Clakamas River!
Good times with good friends from Germany.


My Birthday Party!
"Celebrating 10 years of legal drinking"

Beerfest! in Portland


I got shingles!
Well, I think its funny.

Camping in Washington

There were only 2 of us... this was one day's worth


Beaver Football!!

Camping at Fish Lake with Jess & Dave
whilst rowing in the row boat we made up a song...
sing it to the tune of "My bologna has a first name..."
My dingey has a first name,
its T-U-B-E, tube!
My dingey has a second name,
its L-U-B-E, lube!
I like to row it every day,
and if you ask me why I'll sayyyyyy...
Cause my dingey has a special way,
with B-E-E-R, Yay, oh, Yay!
I know you're jealous of our song writing abilities.


Broken finger. Fx playing flag football.
Fired from Lowe's. A blessing in disguise.



Visiting my BFF in 'Zona!


Civil war!! Go Beavers!
(even though we lost)

Happy New Year!
(proud to be drama free!!)

Myself & Cheryl

Probably one of my favorite things about 2009 was getting to renew a friendship with my cousin Cheryl. She went through a divorce and has had a pretty rough year herself. But its been great getting to know her again and sharing our "crazy family" stories together. Or more like... comparing notes!

Thank God 2009 is over. I guess it wasn't ALL bad. But it was close...
Now for a fresh start! & Good times to come!

Friday, January 1

"i'm not even that drunk yet"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Good riddance 2009!!

Seriously. Seriously folks. Seriously. I had a GREAT New Years Eve. Dick Clark would be proud (if he even knew where he was at the time).

As you can see from yesterday's post we went snowboarding. The great part was we just rolled out of bed, had our coffee and strolled up to the mountain. No rush, no fuss and hit the parking lot at 11am. It was snowing pretty hard and raining at some parts during the drive but we were optimistic. My cousin works for the forest service so she has a free pass and my friend works at the mountain and he hooked me up with a day pass as well. Free boarding is the best boarding. Well, that is until the weather stopped cooperating. Simply put, the weather was awful. Not only am I tremendously out of shape but it was almost whiteout conditions for most of the way. And to make thing even awesomer (its a word, trust me) my goggles started fogging up and getting water in between the lenses. So I could see NOTHING. Falling down, sore, wet, blind, and miserable. After 2 runs and not even 2 hours on the mountain it was time to hit the bar!!

I love mountain bars too. So many cute snowboard guys, chilling out enjoying beer. What's not to love?!? We arrived in just in time for some rocking 80's karaoke. It was blissful. Nothing like a little Motley Crue and Poison to warm your heart. After we disrobed from our dripping wet clothes (its amazing how much water your gloves soak up) we had some brews, nachos and enjoyed the "entertainment." One guy busted out some amazing Bon Jovi (one of the greatest bands of our time, next to Journey of course) was really rocking, and shouted "and i'm not even that drunk yet!" So funny. He definitely won over the crowd.

After we got home we spent the next 6 hours still in our underarmor, enjoying bloody mary's and debated going out. We flip flopped back and forth and finally at 815 decided we'd make a go for it and hit the showers. My friend Adriane was having a get together at her place, where we made our appearance. Lots of food, punch, champagne, dancing, singing and general merriment. It was a perfect way to ring in the new year (no drama, no fights, no crying, much different than my last new years)

Although I'm sore all over from the snowboarding yesterday, I think it was a great I'm not too hungover. Hope you all had a great eve and enjoy the 6 (six!!!) bowl games today. As much as it pains my soul, I am wearing a yellow shirt and will be cheering for the Oregon. GO *cough* ducks! Pictures are posted for your viewing pleasure.

Myself and Adriane rocking to some Bon Jovi.
Waaaaanted... Dead or Aliiiiive!

(yes that's a bottle of vermouth in my pants)

Adriane and her bro Damian

Adriane, Myself and cousin Cheryl.
Too much fun with the horny-blower-things.

I love making noise!! Honnnnnk! Honnnnk!

Happy New Years hats!!

Damian, pictured above, just texted me while typing this out.
"My hangover is epic. It could be a miniseries. 5 two hour episodes."