drink the whole bottle

The Scene: The kitchen.

Me getting a beer from the fridge.

My friend is putting ice into a glass. A bottle of Captain's rum and a 2 litre of coke are on the counter.

My friend's 11 year-old dauhgter walks in.

- - -

Child: "What are you doing?"

Adult: "Putting ice in the glass"

Child: "Why?"

Adult: "Beacuse I want to mix these two together in the glass with ice"

Child: "I would just drink it out of the bottle!"

*all in the room pause... and then burst into laughter*

twitter and life without parole

what the shit?

First of all... I signed up for Twitter. *ughhhhh* After months (years?) of talking crap about it, I finally caved. I feel like one of those people who is just now signing up for Facebook. Whatever, don't judge me. Its purely for blogging purposes! So now, go follow me, cause I'm funny.

Secondly, let me freak out about this. Summary; An eleven year-old (now 12) boy is being tried as AN ADULT for the shooting of his dad's pregnant fiance.

Yes, I think this kid has some serious issues, and there has been some parenting completely gone wrong in this story. But an adult?! Really?! This kids life is now over because of one mistake he made. I know, murder is a HUGE DEAL, but he's only fucking eleven!!

I know Dave Chappelle has talked about this before too... but I'm going to say it again. A 15 year-old girl wasn't "mature enough" to consent to being peed on by R. Kelly. A 17 year old-girl isn't "mature enough" to consent to having sex with her 18 year-old boyfriend. And yet, this 11 year-old is old enough to comprehend the complexities of committing murder? How does this make sense? Its just an INSANE double standard.

I'm not saying I have all the answers, but it just seems WRONG to end this child's life. PRISON. WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY of parole. Ever? He'll be 40 and not even have a chance at life? 50? I mean, I know that probably he will get paroled, considering the immense overcrowding in the prisons (probably because we're trying 11 year-old's as adults) but, *sigh* anyway...

What. The. Fuck.

a blog about blogging

What a lovely image huh? Too bad its rainy and blustery today :(



I just read an article from the little lady over at Make Mine a Mojito that got me thinking. She's received some "negative" or "constructive" comments about her writing/blogging. She's taking a break from blogging because her readers, and now her, feel that her blog has become too impersonal and self-gratifying.

Really?

Can't you write about whatever the hell you want to write about? Is there some set amount of writing that is supposed to be personal your blog? I mean its your blog.

I know there are some people who are WAY TOO PERSONAL of things on their blogs. But, hey! Its their blog! You can just choose not to read it if you don't like it. I've always just sort of written about whatever I feel like at the moment. Sometimes personal, sometimes just freaking out about stuff. Or something just sharing something funny or interesting.

I guess I just find this very interesting that someone is no longer going to write a blog because basically her readers complained about it. Am I not posting enough personal stuff? Do you, my dear readers, not know enough about me? Why must I crave the acceptance of the masses? I shamefully check my readership everyday. I only have "18" readers right now, and I get the slight twinge of jealousy when I see that others have more. What should that even matter? I mean, really? I guess I don't really care, but oh wait, yeah I kinda do. Oh self-esteem, why won't you just let me be?

So now, here's your chance to tell me what you really think. Now, don't get me wrong... I sure as hell aren't going to stop blogging if you don't like what I'm writing. You can go elsewhere and read some mommy blog, or cooking blog, or how awesome my 5 kids are blog. But what are your thoughts on blogging? On what you like to read, and/or write about... ??

is this real life?

I want this sticker. I need this sticker.

In case you have lived in a box, under a bridge, down by the river for the last year, here's where this beauty came from...

best party of my life!

Last night I had the privilege of going to an eleven year old's birthday party. This mostly consisted of spaghetti, cake, presents and... wait for it... DANCE PARTY!! WhooOOoooHoooO! Okay but really I'm not a huge "dance party" kind of gal, but its pretty hilarious to watch kids run around whacking each other with balloons and "dancing" (yeah, i don't think what they were doing could technically be defined as dancing) to awful pop music.

But the highlight of the evening was young Gavin, a short skater kid with long hair. He ran up to me, with cake in his teeth, and yelled, "I get a little crazy when I have some sugar!" and then ran off. I laughed so hard!!

Then after continuing to dance and sing along, not another 2 minutes later, he came back to say, "I think my lungs have shrunk to the size of atoms!"

enjoy the magic...

mystery speaker

This was a note left in the guest bedroom after my cousin left.

He's 13.

I'm pretty sure collin is "colon".
HAHAHAAA!

Hungry Like the Wolf

What I am about to tell you is 100% factual.
The name has been changed to protect the anonymity and stupidity of the party involved, however the conversation itself, is being relayed to you exactly as it happened.

Tabi: Hey, who sings this song? It sounds like the Ramones.
Me: This song? You mean "Hungry Like the Wolf" ?
Tabi: Yeah! Who sings this?
Me: Duran Duran
Tabi: Who?
Me: DURAN DURAN
Tabi: Who are they?
Me: Ugghhhh... really?

This conversation was wrong on so many levels.

Number one: she has obviously NEVER heard the Ramones. In no way, have they ever sounded like Duran Duran.

Number two: Howwwwwwwww do you not know who Duran Duran is? Seriously?!?
Her name is Rio?!?
Girls on Film?!?
The Reflex?!? and not to mention...
HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF?!?

Kids these days. Very disappointing. She has to be only like 22 years old, and she's so naiive to great music. Oh the humanity. My brain hurts.

Ya.. I can totally see how you'd get them confused...

coat check? yes. but what about the child check?

Kids. Kids? Kids!

Don't get me wrong. I looooove kids! They're fun and annoying and smart and great and ... lots of things! What I don't understand is why must people bring their children E V E RY W H E R E. Yeah yeah I understand, that you don't have a baby sitter, or you can't afford one, or you just don't have the heart to give them up for adoption, or the guts to leave them at the mall all day.

But whyyyy must people bring their kids everywhere?

Families are great. I love mine. I love my friends. But other people's? Strangers? Get those little screaming-crying-rugrats away from me!

Camping two weekends ago, my friend and I (she has a child but didn't bring her) went to the mountains of Washington to get away. A ladies weekend. Fun times with lots of beer, sunshine, campfire and some dirt. Ya know? Quality time. And I understand that lots of people bring their kids camping, its a family activity. But we were literally SURROUNDED by children. There must have been every campsite with at least 2 children, some up to 4 or 5. And all between the ages of 3 and 9. Seemed that all the pubescent children had no desire to hang out in the wilderness with no cell reception.

But we could not get any quiet. No peace. No harmony. It was ridiculous! I know, I'm sort of bitching about something that we really can't do anything about... but can we?

Is it too much to ask for an 'adults only' section of the park? How about sections of a restaurant? Children? or Non? An airplane? Children? or Non?

Wouldn't that be heavenly?

I know, many of you are disagreeing, but I think it would bring a lot of peace and harmony to many adult minds.

I've chosen not to have children at this point in my life. I've mastered the extremely complex and elusive art of birth control. Why should my sanity be punished by others?

Just some food for thought.

serenity now serenity now serenity
now serenity now serenity now serenity now
serenity now serenity now