Saturday, November 28

Not-So-Civil War

The Civil War
5 More Days!!!

Battle for the Rose Bowl
I Can't Wait!


Friday, November 27


My life is honestly in complete disarray.

I'm unemployed. I'm 31. and I live with my parents. I also just last night broke up with my boyfriend. Or rather, he broke up with me. Either way, I'm not really happy about it. But we're still working on it... I think.

My point is, I feel like a giant loser, and honestly most of this year has pretty been on par with it. I can't wait for 2009 to be over.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But you know how easy it is to start wallowing in your own self pity. Recently I've just felt that there are a lot more check marks in the "things I'm pissed out about" column, than the "things I'm grateful for" column. Sad, no?

To prevent my further wallowing in self-pity I will try to come up with 20 things I am truly thankful for, sorry its a day late. Sue me.

  1. The fact that I do at least get unemployment every week. (some money is better than no money)
  2. Music
  3. My iPod
  4. The new Lady GaGa album
  5. Friends who will call random people from high school to come get you when you are stranded in another state and need a ride
  6. Long distance friendships that stand the test of time (and distance)
  7. My mom, for many reasons. But for sure knowing that if I ever get married and get divorced, that she will be ON MY SIDE no matter what happened. Or how big of an ass/idiot/fool I was
  8. The badass pumpkin cheese cake that I made and is helping me get through the last few days
  9. TV shows that entirely take you out of your reality for the whole 30 minutes (Bones)
  10. Ex-boyfriends who randomly send you a message the same day you break up with your current boyfriend, only to tell you how awesome you were and that they were sorry they were an ass to you.
  11. Sparkling Apple Cider, the best remedy for a wine hangover
  12. Flannel Sheets with reindeer on them
  13. Not having had the swine flu like your poor baby brother (yet, knock-on-wood)
  14. Côtes du Rhône wines
  15. Eggnog
  16. Libraries
  17. Comedians who truly make me laugh, everytime (Kathy Griffin, David Cross, Chelsea Handler)
  18. Birth control. And the fact that I don't have a child in the clusterfuck that is my current life.
  19. Europe, and that its always there waiting for me to come back.
  20. Dogs who always just seem to know when you need them to lay their head on your lap

Tuesday, November 24

love & other burning sensations

its funny how emotions can sneak up on you. it doesn't take much. a song, or a story, or even talking about pizza.

I'll be the first to admit that my love life has never been a strong suit of mine. But I'd always thought that my friendships were something I could always depend on. Always there, no matter what. I guess I always think that way because that's the kind of friend I am.

But here I am, in this situation. I've slowly lost friends to their love lives before. Its never something you get used to, and no matter how many times it happens, and you always hope its the last.

I lost my best friend Travis to a jealous girlfriend/now wife who at some point decided that she hated me, and that Travis and I should never really hang out a gain. Granted, I can still see Trav when I visit him at work, but we all know its not the same.

My best friend Ben disappeared when he started dating his lady friend/now fiancee Tara. Don't get me wrong, there's no animosity there on either side, but he's still pretty much disappeared from my life.

And now to make matters worse Travis and Ben are now basically best friends. Friends because of ME. And now they're better friends with eachother than either of them are with me. And of course their ladies are becoming fast best friends. I'm happy for them and their friendship, but it still stings, a lot.

And now my best friend Ester has done the same thing. Disappeared. Gone. I've called and emailed and basically stalked her, only to find out she had gotten engaged. ENGAGED!! Thanks for telling me right when it happened supposed best friend. I mean... really??!?

What is it about being a couple the makes you think you can never spend time with single friends? I don't get it. I never thought I'd be here, friends lost to coupledom. But here I am, still here, still single. Why do I have to be punished for not settling for someone or not settling down (not that any of my friends are settling, but they are settling down.) I just wish I understood this phenomenon.

And the worst thing of all, in my opinion, is that my former best friends now have children, and their children don't even know me. That point really, really hurts.

I've come to the point of, how hard do I have to try to keep this relationship together? I call, try to make plans and we'll sometimes hang out. But almost NEVER to they call me to make plans. "Are you coming over? Want to go see a movie?" Nope. Its always the safe-zone of the bar and karaoke, where its easy to talk to me in passing and not spend too much time with me. And as the lady friends gossip with each other never speaking to me. The giant elephant in the room we all try not to talk about. Sometimes I feel like the elephant. So yeah, that's great fun. I love spending time with my friends, but its just not the same.

Sometimes I wonder if its something I've done. Have I chosen bad friends for them to desert me like this? Is this a choice I've made? Have a done something wrong for them to leave my life? Am I just supposed to be settled down now? Do I attempt to mend this somewhat broken friendships? or just move on since they aren't putting as much in as I am? at what point do you just give up?

Monday, November 23

carry-on cravings

I get it. The airlines need to make more money. Bag check is no longer free. We are forced to carry and lug our baggage through the airport for sometimes hours on end. And yet, the bathroom stalls stay the same size.

Attempting to navigate the Phoenix airport I contemplated this. Have you been in this situation?

How are you expected to wheel your carry on bag in behind you, maneuver yourself around so you can shut the door, then re-maneuver yourself to the toilet to do your business??! There's just NO ROOM!

You aren't allowed to park your bag outside and therefore leave your bag "unattended" and yet its physically impossible to get the feat done without looking insane. I once parked my bag and stepped over it, and nearly fell into the bowl itself. That would have made for a lovely flight.

OH! And since when is Southwest first-come-first-served seating?!? It would have been nice if they had ANNOUNCED this fact. Grrrrr

Thursday, November 19

Boo Fucking Radley

Greetz from AZ!

I'm currently here in Casa Grande Arizona visiting my bestie pal. We're having lots of funtastic times, and some ridiculous laughs. One of these in which I nearly injured myself laughing took place yesterday afternoon.

My friend does not have, what you might call, "An Awesome Car." He drives an '86 school bus yellow Fiero. WHOOO! Needless to say, he bought it cause it looked cool, not because it was in good shape. Since he's owned it he's had 2 flat tires, including one in which he didn't know he had had a blowout and drove for almost an hour on the flat. Nice work huh?

So yesterday afternoon we're cruising along and all of a sudden we heard a loud noise coming from the back and I started yelling, PULL OVER! GET OFF THE ROAD!! We stopped and got out to behold yet a third flat tire. Well the treads were starting to rip off, something that I'd never actually seen a tire do. Leave it to John to somehow make tires do magical things.
After John spent a good 5 minutes swearing, he commenced with changing the tire. What proceeded was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Lying on the ground he was trying to crank the jack up and his legs were flailing around, up and down, side to side, with random cursings coming from below the car. I just had to sit down to try to contain myself, but finally I just lost it. The situation was funny enough, but after seeing his legs convulsing from under the car while he sputtered swears I coldn't stop. I laughed OUT LOUD, and HARD for a good 10 minutes. He kept yelling at me that it wasn't that funny, but I literally couldn't stop. Then he started laughing and was again mad because he really couldn't jack up the car while giggling histerically.

So finally he got the car jacked up and the tire changed went pretty much as usual. I still would just burst into laughter ever 5 minutes or so becuase I just couldn't help myself.

He looks so manly doesn't he?!?

" Boo Fucking Radley! Does HE know how to change a tire?!!"
is what he yelled as he held up the culprit
The finished product. Finally we were back on the road again. But even afterwards we would just bust out laughing randomly, pretty much for the rest of the day. Its just one of those things that you can't believe happened, are really mad about the situation, but can't NOT find the humor in it.
I of course was no help at all. I've seen tires changed before, but never actually done it myself. And thank goodness I've never had to. Knock on wood.

Thursday, November 12

For Boston! For Boston!

For Boston, for Boston, we sing our proud refrain!
for Boston, for Boston, 'tis wisdom's earthly fane!
for here are all one, and our hearts are true
and the towers on the heights, reach the heavens own blue.
for Boston, for Boston, 'til the echoes ring again!

Oh man, its Thursday and I'm finally writing about last weekend. Ahhhhh well, time flies when you're unemployed...

Last weekend I went to Bend to visit some friends and watch the Dropkick Murphys(my 5th time seeing them)! One of my favoritestest bands EVERRRR! Unless you've been living under a rock, you surely know their song form The Departed, "Shipping up to Boston." But that is just one of their many many awesome songs!

But as usual the show didn't disappoint. They played over an hour and a half of great songs. I was rocking and jumping around, fists in the air, screaming at the top of my lungs. Hair was wet with sweat sticking to my face, and I never slowed down. I remember at one point thinking "I'm totally going to pass out!" Too much screaming and jumping, being out of breath... whoops! But I survived and just had an amazing time.

Afterwards we found the rest of our group outside in the 20 degree weather, which with my sweat drenched clothes did not combine well. Yesterday and today I've had a bit of a cold, but again, totally worth it. That's what NyQuil is for, right?!? And of course I had the usual 3 days of mild deafening to the world mixed with ringing in the ears. Oi! Oi! Oi!

Tuesday, November 3

FUBAR Finger


First and foremost, FUBAR means F*ed Up Beyond All Recognition. And my finger is FUBAR. I dont think it will ever be the same. Ever. It just makes me sad. *tear* I can't straighten it all the way, and I'm farrrrr from being able to make a fist. It is making progress, but it is definitely crooked. Crooked!! And it makes me very very sad, because I know that will never go away. Boo.

This is me straightening all my digits

It continues to curve like this when I bend it too :(

Now on to the weekend. And what a glorious and UNeventful weekend. Some people might enjoy a laid-back, relaxed weekend. But finding myself with laid-back, relaxed weekdays, I long for a bit more action come post-Friday.

Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday. And this year, it was....... lackluster. Granted, nothing going on means no drama, which in itself is always a good thing. Buuuuut, I didn't really celebrate my favorite holiday at all. Booooooo sad. No dressing up, unless you count a Duck fan. And that's enough to make me vomit. Scary huh?

Me and my cousin, the über duck fan

Saturday was filled with college football, which is never a bad thing. My beavers won, barely, but weren't on tv. And I got to go to a lovely Duck game, in which they killed USC. That was quite a sight to see, but I really just couldn't get into the game. It just feels wrong to root for Oregon. I still had fun with friends and family, but a festive halloween it did not make.

Oregon fans rushing the field at Autzen stadium after beating USC 47-20

I hope all of you had a glorious weekend, and got to dress up, and ate lots and lots of candy!!