coffee understands

First of all I want to thank all my faithful readers who are still here with me.

And by faithful, I really mean, dependable, dutiful, diligent and just down right awesome. I'm pretty sure I posted like 3 blogs in all of 2012 and I know I've been slacking. To be honest, when my little baby of a blog was started I was unemployed. And over the two years of unemployment I had LOADS of time to write to my hearts content. 18 hours of couch time a day will do that for a gal.

 Anyway... Quick catch up.

My life at Sunnyside Up

I still work at L'Restaurant, managing and serving. 

But now I also manage a coffee shop in town

       (and boy do I have some stories to tell you). 

So two jobs, 

live-in boyfriend, 

book club, 

spending time with friends. 

Yeah, you can see how I've been a little lost to the blog world. 

Mr. Man and I will be celebrating three years in February!

And of course now I'm super addicted to Pinterest, so any free time I may have in the mornings and I'm planning "My Imaginary Wedding"or dinner recipes made with beer

 or which new tattoo to get. 

But I digress... 

Life is good, just very very busy.

And I love and miss you all.

And am stalking a few of you on pinterest and instagram, Muahahahaaa!

And I've downloaded the mobile Blogger app so I can post some shiz for y'all more often... 

you know... 

when I'm standing around at the coffee shop at
6 (SIX!!) am... 

waiting for the rest of the city to wake up and come and get some coffee.

So I will leave you with this:

This. Actually. Exists.

This was the best White Elephant gift ever. 

I'm thinking of going on Amazon and buying twenty-something copies.

Here are a few excerpts:

Keepin' it classy

mixin' it up

As much ranch dressing as I want???!! Yes. Please.

AIN'T SHIT!

Finally, a recipe I can actually use.

Come and get it!

 McGriddle Pants

I'm proud of you, Storm Trooper

Holy crap balls, I'm alive!

I've been such a major suck on my blog of late, and yet I've been quite productive in the real worlds. I have even only been checking my facebook every 2 days or so *GASP!*

The job has been keeping me busy, and am trying to gather up some material for some tales from the work place. Mostly I'm still learning the ropes and learning the hierarchy of the restaurant biz. You know, some servers think they are so much better than we, the mere host staff, and even higher than the lowly bussers. Which I think is total bullshit. On a high note, my manager said this to me the other day, "We're working on getting you started serving, so just be patient. But I think you'd make a much better manager" To which I said, I would definitely be down with that. But anywhoodle.

My BFF came to visit me from Arizona for 2 1/2 weeks and I was literally sober for 2 whole days. TWO WHOLE DAYS in the last 17 days. I'm in a MAJOR detox right now. Well, today was actually the "hangover" period, in which I ate everything in the house for most of the day. I feel like I'm going to explode. I also napped for 4 hours. So tomorrow will begin the health cleanse. My liver will thank me for it.

Oh-- and we took pictures

the beach! still sober here..

"hurry up beer man"

"nipple"

let's just call this one "Oakshire Brewing Sample Night"

Ankle failure. Twice. Yes, we're drinking in a dugout. At 1 am.

"Portlandia"

Wenatchee

He wanted to call this one "Gaga" because 'Judas' came on for the millionth time.

Oh yeah, and his shirt says "You discussed me"

Bought at the Portland Saturday Market. Funniest shit ever.

lonelydinosaur.com

The pitcher actually had "PBR Only" written on it.
Why? Cause it taints everything it touches.

Lots of ridiculousness occurred.

'Judas' was in our heads constantly for the first week. I loves me some Gaga, but sweet Jesus, you can only sing it so many times. That and Adele's Rolling in the Deep.

Somehow we ended up watching a Real Housewives of New York City and became strangely addicted. What a SHITSHOW! Oh that Ramona... I want to kill her. And her Pinot Grigio!!! But I digress...

I also nearly broke my ankle again. Remember when I wrenched it during the Rise Against concert? Well basically it happened again. TWICE.We had spent most of the evening out drinking (surprise, surprise). The sky was perfectly clear and my friend wanted to "go look at the moon". So we picked up a six-er of tall cans of Miller Lite and headed to the park. For some reason the ball park lights were all on, at 1 am. So I proceeded to prance around the bases while holding my beer. No failure there, and actually you'd think that would have been the most likely place for ankle failure. Oh no.

We're sitting in the duggout and realized we needed to TAKE PICTURES!! So I ran off to the car to get the camera. Wait, no I froliced off. Sort of a skipping-jogging-frolicking action. The duggout is dirt, then transitions to sand, which then transitions to the grass throughout the rest of the park. Well, once I hit the sand... BAM! I ate shit. I laughed and laughed and rolled around grabbing my ankle. Biffing it is pretty funny, especially when you're wasted. But I was fine, so I made it to the car, and then headed back.

LITERALLY... in the exact same spot I ate shit. AGAIN. AGAIN!!! What the crap!? This time my stuff went flying. Camera. Beer. Keys. Hat. All strewn about. Again I was laughing so hard, but this time the tears came with it. My friends came running over and were trying to help me up asking if I was alright. (this part is hazy for me, so I'm going off what my friends relayed to me afterward) I guess I yelled "NO TALKING!!" because I was laughing so hard and it hurt SO BAD. Then they tried to help me up and I yelled "NO TOUCHING!!" At this point I was on my knees, laughing and laughing and crying and laughing, trying to figure out if I'd broken my ankle and if I could walk on it. Meanwhile my friends stood there histerically laughing at me.

I hobbled back to the duggout and managed to figure out that I didn't actually break it. I'm sure I tore some stuff up in there something fierce though, because two weeks later it still hurts. It was swollen huge for a week, and its more or less back to normal size. But it still hurts, especially in the monring when its stiff, or when I step weird.

We also went to Portland, went to a gay bar and got capital "T" Trashed, went to Powell's the world's largest used book store, to the Saturday Market. Then do the beach, and this last weekend, up to Leavenworth Washington for some awesome rafting action. We nearly froze to death, but that's a story that's really not as funny when retold, however we were crying/laughing in the back of the pickup when it was pouring POURING down rain. I just kept saying "This is a memory of a lifetime!!" I'm such a dork.

So there ya go.

I'm really going to try to update more often, at least once a week. The guilt is killing me. And I miss my bloggy buddies! I'll also admit that I haven't read ANY blogs in as much as two months. But I'm spending my cough time today catching up. I may not comment on everything I love, but I'll try to send some love your way so you know I was actually there catching up!

Peace out my homies! Miss and love you!!

seriously, what did you expect me to do?

Its moving time AGAIN. Good gravy. Didn't I just do this 2 months ago? Yes. I did. Fucking Fuck.

I decided after 2 months here in my cute little studio that I have to get the fuck out. Don't get me wrong I love this little place. I however DON'T love the ants, the barking dogs, the cat poop in the laundry room, the ridiculously messy garage that I have to walk through to get to my room, the nearly $600/month rent that "included" cable and internet (and by cable i guess they  mean the only 12 channels you get by NOT having a digital cable converter, and by internet they mean the barely there wireless signal that I was never able to connect to and then the 3 weeks of them trying to hardwire my room for internet in which I had to go to a coffee shop to do my daily interneting.) Oh, and let's not forget the snake incident.

The real point of my blog today is this:
How many mother fucking times in my life am I  going to have to move my mother fucking high school year books?!

I mean really. I haven't actually looked at them in like 8 years. And I have 5 of them! (no, I wasn't a super senior, I just went to 2 different schools, and got 1 from each in one year). Its one of those things that I never want to get rid of them, but I'm so tired of having to move them. THEY'RE HUGE, hardbound heavy fuckers and I'm honestly just sick of them!! I want to just dump them off at my mom's house and just pick them up when (hopefully many many many many many moons in the future) pick them up when my brother and I go through her things after her funeral. Seriously, that's how badly I want them out.

Am I alone here? Is there anything in your life you've moved 9895028934 gazillion times and wish there was a safety deposit box for such things?

outta the road junior

Maybe its just me, but I hate school zones.

Forgive me if you have children and are truly offended by these words. But I've yet to get grace this world with a mini-me, so let me rant.

How does this make sense? The entire school yard is surrounded by fencing. Chain link fencing. And sometimes theres some sort of barb wire at the top, so i'm sure these little monsters aren't getting out that easily. So whyyy is it that we have to drive TWENTY FUCKING MPH when we pass the school? Not only do they have to hop the damn fence to get into the street, but shouldn't we be, I don't know say, teaching our kids to not play in the road?

Hey tommy. Cars are fast. And heavy. You are not that fast. You will lose. Get out of the street.

Pretty simple wouldn't you say?

The thing that makes me the most irritated is when the school zone isn't ever NEAR the school. Its something like four blocks away, but heaven forbid Jr. wants to use a cross walk on the way home and if you're in the same zip code from 8am to 4pm you have to SLAM on your breaks just in case you see a youngster.

Maybe we should be weeding out the stupid and slow anyway. Perhaps deepen up the gene pool a bit? Ya, watch out, I'm gunning for your kids. OUT OF THE ROAD!! BEEP! BEEP!

And don't get me started on these signs. It literally makes me want to speed up. Literally.

Boo Fucking Radley

Greetz from AZ!

I'm currently here in Casa Grande Arizona visiting my bestie pal. We're having lots of funtastic times, and some ridiculous laughs. One of these in which I nearly injured myself laughing took place yesterday afternoon.

My friend does not have, what you might call, "An Awesome Car." He drives an '86 school bus yellow Fiero. WHOOO! Needless to say, he bought it cause it looked cool, not because it was in good shape. Since he's owned it he's had 2 flat tires, including one in which he didn't know he had had a blowout and drove for almost an hour on the flat. Nice work huh?

So yesterday afternoon we're cruising along and all of a sudden we heard a loud noise coming from the back and I started yelling, PULL OVER! GET OFF THE ROAD!! We stopped and got out to behold yet a third flat tire. Well the treads were starting to rip off, something that I'd never actually seen a tire do. Leave it to John to somehow make tires do magical things.
After John spent a good 5 minutes swearing, he commenced with changing the tire. What proceeded was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Lying on the ground he was trying to crank the jack up and his legs were flailing around, up and down, side to side, with random cursings coming from below the car. I just had to sit down to try to contain myself, but finally I just lost it. The situation was funny enough, but after seeing his legs convulsing from under the car while he sputtered swears I coldn't stop. I laughed OUT LOUD, and HARD for a good 10 minutes. He kept yelling at me that it wasn't that funny, but I literally couldn't stop. Then he started laughing and was again mad because he really couldn't jack up the car while giggling histerically.


So finally he got the car jacked up and the tire changed went pretty much as usual. I still would just burst into laughter ever 5 minutes or so becuase I just couldn't help myself.

He looks so manly doesn't he?!?

" Boo Fucking Radley! Does HE know how to change a tire?!!"

is what he yelled as he held up the culprit

The finished product. Finally we were back on the road again. But even afterwards we would just bust out laughing randomly, pretty much for the rest of the day. Its just one of those things that you can't believe happened, are really mad about the situation, but can't NOT find the humor in it.

I of course was no help at all. I've seen tires changed before, but never actually done it myself. And thank goodness I've never had to. Knock on wood.

cacti

greetings from Arizona! Back next Monday! :)

seattle's best 2; combover's revenge

This last weekend I voyaged on up north to Seattle for a wedding. I had a great time with my new beau Shaun and met lots of his friends. The wedding (an old childhood friend of his) was at getting hitched at this great little place right on the water, ceremony and reception at the same place. Breakfast/Brunch buffet was there and was delish! And.. what every wedding must have, OPEN BAR.

Here, I have chronicled my thoughts and musings from the celebration.

• When exchanging vows, please, HOLD HANDS!
• Father of the bride was rocking the most awesome comb over ever! I mean, guys, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING?!? *sigh* Not at my wedding. We'll be checking for that at the door.
• When allowed to wander my mind can be a hilarious thing. "... in the name of the Father, of The Son, and of the Holy Spigot--er-Spirit." Thanks Monty Python.
  
• Wedding DJ's, please never play Queen's "We Will Rock You." First of all you can't dance to it. And secondly, what does that even mean? At a wedding?!?

Shaun is a little camera shy, this is the best I could get. :) And my finger is still wrapped in the super awesome cast/splint. Just went to the orthopaedist tues and took more x-rays (sans insurance) and was told 2 more weeks in the stupid thing. Boo.