There's a mother fucking snake in my house!!
Not on the plane! IN MY HOUSE!!
I am sick and tired of all these mother fucking snakes in my mother fucking house!!
me: THERE IS A FUCKING SNAKE IN MY KITCHEN!
10:43 AM Denise: OMG.
HMM. stand up on something?
me: Its under the stove
Denise: well, stop typing
me: scared the SHIT out of me
im watching the stove
Denise: i cant even imagine.
me: its in there
i called my landlord
Denise: oh good
me: she's like "oh its harmless"
me: i'm like I WANT IT OUT NOW
she's like "oh i dont know what i can do"
are you fucking shitting me?!?
Denise: key is to find out where it came from so you can patch that whole
call pest control?
me: i was like how the fuck did it get in here?
Denise: a whole
me: i live in the country, they're everywhere
Denise: a vent
me: OUTSIDE everywhere
Denise: my sister had one a few years ago in NC
10:45 AM me: ive never had one in my house before
Denise: came in throguh the stove vent
Denise: or air conditiong - i dont remember
me: i just talked to my friend about living with her this morning too
NOW I HAVE A REASON TO LEAVE
there's a snake in my apartment!!!!!
i have to move.
Denise: good thing it is still early so you dont have to sleep with it.
me: NO SHIT
i wouldn't sleep
10:46 AM Denise: roommate might be nice.
10:47 AM me: i can't believe my landlord isn't even going to come over and help
she was like "you sound upset"
i was like OBVIOUSLY
10:48 AM Denise: LMAO. sorry, i cant believe she would react like that.
Denise: i didnt sleep in my apt for days when i found a HUGE FURRY CATEPILLLER (10 years ago)
Denise: it was HUGE, and maybe it wasnt a catepiller. idk
10:49 AM i would call pest control
they can bait it out or move the stove out or soemthing. then give the LL your bill
10:51 AM me: its coming out
i opened the door
Denise: oh smart. good thinking.
10:57 AM Denise: did it go out????
me: no, back under the stove
fuck. fuck. fuck
11:33 AM me: my mom's coming over11:34 AM Denise: oh nice. smart, she will know what to do
Mom came over, and we COULDN'T FIND IT! Good Lord. We searched around, found a gap under the cabinets, that he probably got out, near the pipe for the sink. I hope he has a good life.
just NOT IN MY FUCKING HOUSE!