Thursday, April 1

movie madness: throwback edition

Remember those movies from your childhood that you just loved? We all have them.

I've just recently started watching some retro movies, mostly because I'm unemployed, only have basic cable, and zero interest in day-time television.

Well my blog world friends, Be Warned!!... those amazing movies from the past just may be the biggest pieces of crap if you watch them now. What once was a stylized, amazing piece of cinematic awesomeness, can now be a shittily-edited, mind-numbingly bad special effects mixed in with a touch of really, really bad acting. And that's not even talking about the dialogue, clothing or hairstyles, which in my opinion can actually add value to the movie if they're bad enough.

Here's a list of a few hits and misses that I've just recently seen again (for the first time).

HIT:

Maximum Overdrive
This movie basically defines how awesome bad acting can be. Get ready as murderous vehicles come to life after Earth passes through the tail of a comet. It's up to Emilio Estevez and his gang to destroy the machines and save mankind. Amazingly cheesy.

MISS:

Reality Bites

Ethan Hawke really is a giant douchecannon in this movie. Why in the hell did Winona get with him in the end? Cause we like 'bad boys'? NO. Not a particularly bad movie. Regrettably, not an especially good one either. Watch Singles instead, you won't be disappointed. Better soundtrack too.

HIT:

Piranha

This movie is so insane that they're doing a remake this year! Honestly the last time I watched this, I was pretty drunk. And I vaguely remember getting a little stoned too. But fear not!! I've seen this beauty at least 5 times in my life and it never disappoints. Basically, the government is genetically engineering pirahna's to be freshwater fish, and when 2 young kids who get naked therefore they die hikers stumble upon the operation, they take a swim in the pools, then accidently drain them, and then the flesh eating devils are on the loose (who is surprised by this plot point) The flesh-eaters are then heading downstream to the local camp!! NOOOOOOO! Its basically the best movie ever made.

MISS:

Fire Starter
Mullets, eye patches, Heather Locklear's hair and 2 people on the run from the government. Extremely mediocre. Blah.

HIT:

Road House
Shirtless Swayze, roundhouse kicks, lots of big hair and mullets, just an all around awesome movie. Swayze is "the best" bouncer/bar manager ever, and is recruited to "clean up" the Double Deuce (great name!) bar which has gotten out of control. If you have the right company, you'll enjoy the Road House drinking game!

MISS:

Drop Dead Fred

One word. Boringgggggggggg. And really not that funny. A young girl's imaginary friend reappears in her adult life during her divorce. Phoebe Cates didn't go very far after Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I think its supposed to be more of a kids movie, aka your 12 year-old will like it.

Do you have any other suggestions or reviews??

10 comments:

Ed said...

I remember seeing most of these.

That is also why I won't be watching them again.

Brad Carter said...

I always loved Maximum Overdrive and still do. My kids and I watched it a few months ago and they thought it was great.

Drop Dead Fred had so much potential, but it really sucked. They're in the process of remaking it right now, so maybe it'll turn out good this time.

badheadday said...

FISH WITH TEETH! ! !

McGriddle Pants said...

I believe it was also Pirahna we were watching when we had the comment...
"That's like the cruise ship of rafts! They used WHOLE ENTIRE LOGS!"

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

Max Overdrive is a like for me for one reason only - AC/DC did the soundtrack (or at least Angus Young did most of it)...

I like Reality Bites but I agree with you Singles is SOOOO much better.

My boyfriend would clap for you choosing Roadhouse as a HIT - he loves that damn movie!

I'm glad you found my blog so I could find yours!

P.S. I love that your about me begins with one of my favorite movie quotes of all time from one of my favorite peeps!

Meghan said...

AHH! I love Reality Bites! I always re-create the dance scene when I hear "My Sharona"!

Aunt Juicebox said...

Ugh. Drop Dead Fred was one of my ex husbands favorite movies. I think you now know why he's an ex.

Rich said...

Another movie to add to your list, Cleopatra Jones. Trust me, whether you consider it hit or miss, it is still one of the cheesiest movies ever made, and well worth renting or even buying in order to see it. I make everyone watch it, and so far had to burn copies for each one as well. Let me know....

Ashley said...

I will admit I still enjoy Drop Dead Fred! There I said it. I feel so much better.

Dropping by from The Lady Bloggers, today is Tea Party day but I think we'd both rather have a beer! Cheers!

http://labirdie.blogspot.com

denise said...

I haven't seen many of those, but I remember watching Drop Dead Fred & Baby Boom all the time when I was younger. I recently saw Drop Dead Fred and was suprised I liked it so much, so I agree on that!