Monday, April 26

working on my fitness

McGriddle Pants on going to the gym...

After having belonged to many gyms, I'm used to the grunting/heaving/sighing weird noises coming from the weight lifting area. Who can forget the Jersey Shore like "WHAAAAAT!?" dude from My New Haircut. However, I am not okay with the moaning noises coming from that area last week. I swear to ba-Jesus that it sounded like someone was having sex. Uuggghhhhh. Uuugggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhh. Uuughhhh. Gross! Stop that shit!

You there! 6' tall, stick-figure super model look alike, 20 year old girl!! Ya you, in skin tight pants and top. Get out of the gym! If I wanted to feel bad about myself I'd sit at home and watch America's Next Top Model. I don't need to see this shit at the gym. Go home and eat a bag of Doritos!

Never, ever go to the gym when the trainer is doing his own work out. It will make you really feel like complete shit about yourself and your own work out. He was balancing, and stretching, and lifting all over the place. Then he gets on the tread mill next to me and starts jogging backwards. I seriously couldn't help but secretly hope that he trips and falls. Showoff.

WHY IS THE FOOD NETWORK ALWAYS ON?! Seriously. When trying to be good with your diet, and on minute 47 pounding away on the treadmill, why oh why is Paula Dean on the TV making some fatty, buttery deep-fried dish y'all?

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In the mean time I'm enjoying my new black Columbia fleece pants that I picked up from the outlet mall at the beach. As my friend Adri says, they "reek of unemployment!" I love it.



Mr. Man and myself catching up on some Dexter. I love that too.

5 comments:

Ed said...

Matching pants?

How cute.




*vomits*

"Seattle" Heather said...

"Working on my fitness" isn't that a line from a Fergie song? LOL

I'm joining a gym next month...cause eeek it's almost swimsuit weather and I've got a Budda living in my Belly...bastard.

aladdinsane12 said...

thanks so much for stopping by and following!

i am soooo the same way! i take fitness classes at my local park district, so i can be in classes with overweight housewives instead of super-intense, super-good-looking people! i'm terrified of the gym- yes, the grunting is nasty and the pretty girls make me sick!

jogging backwards? what a douche.

MrsCaptKerk said...

I'm convinced gyms hire people like Barbie to make you feel bad about yourself and then you'll keep buying memberships, in hopes that you'll some day look like that.

I just feel worse about myself and eat another enchilada.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I look a lot like Paula Deen! Only younger. And taller. And my hair is different. Other than that, we're twins!