Monday, January 31

love is a mix tape

Out on the road today, I saw a Sub Pop sticker on a Subaru.
A little voice inside my head said, yuppies smell teen spirit too.
I thought I knew what love was, but I was blind.
Those days are gone forever, whatever, never mind.

Thursday, January 27

another day, another beer, another hangover

woah woah woah.

Beer and wine definitely don't mix.

Don't get me wrong, I had SO MUCH FUN last night, but today, well, lets just say that I woke up still drunk, and finally started functioning at 4pm. Woo!

So, since my brain is moving slowly, and I'm waiting for the pizza to cook (YUM! Best for hangovers, seriously.) Just a few thoughts.

 This is totally my new favorite beer of the moment. New Belgium's Trippel is so delicious. Unfortunately we can only find it in the mix pack, and I'm not really a fan of the darker 1554 which you also get three of in the mix. I highly recommend trying it.

I miss the flip-flop tan line on my feet. So I painted my toe nails cotton candy pink. Of course I never get to see it, cause I'm wearing thick socks all the time. But I digress...

Too much typing, my head is spinning. I have to lie down now.

Go forth and drink some beers!

Tuesday, January 25

zufällige sheiße dienstag

Serenity Now!! Insanity Later...
Helloooooooo  (in my best Ranjit voice --  HIMYM? Anyone? No? Moving on)
Random Shit Tuesday back in the house. Are you ready to have your mind blown? HA!

So -- in case you're all curious, YES. Yes, I did make that all important email and ask for my job back. I had a former coworker of mine Mr. Peacock (who still works there) proof read my email. He's been great about my neurotic questions about what should it say? Should I address him as "Mr."? Etc. etc... I emailed on Thursday afternoon, so it was after office hours on the east coast. He DID EMAIL ME BACK Friday morning. All it said was Anne, Give me a call when you have a free minute.  I’m at ext 2**** . That's a direct quote. No signature. No nothing. So I called an hour after the email came in, about 1:30 EST. And I got no answer. I triednot to get too worried since it was a Friday after all, and who knows what's going on in the office. Then Monday. NOTHING. So, after careful advisement from Mr. Peacock yet again, I set my alarm for 6am PST to make a "first thing in the morning" call. Voicemail yet again!! However, it rang once, so that usually means he's on the other line. Anyway... I'll be sure to keep you posted. I'm really excited about this though. I realized once I hung up and I was shaking that I pretty much really wanted my old job back. Like for reals. Kind of exciting, but scary, cause you know, they may not want me back. *sigh* And now I wait...


I am SOOO in love with this show.
The Walking Dead, on AMC
 The Walking Dead is freaking Gah-REAT! I'd heard some people on a local radio show talking about it one day and realized I really needed to see it. Its basically a zombie movie, but a tv show. Its based on a graphic novel that is "intensely character driven". I love anything zombie and they've done a fantastic job on this show. Great special effects and, in my opinion, great casting (I had no idea the main guy was actually British!) I'm not sure when season two starts, but I'm super excited. Season 1 is only six episodes, 1 hour each. I just happened to catch a marathon on AMC the other weekend, when they showed it pretty much back-to-back all weekend long. I'm sure its on the usual online viewing places. Totally check this out! TWO THUMBS WAY UP!


Note to self, don't read books about food, when you're on a two day fast. Especially this one

nothings turns you into Homer Simposon worse than drinking leek soup broth all day long and then looking at this
mmmmmm... quarter pounder with cheese....
Although I highly recommend this book. Well, any one of them actually. Other than the mouth watering pictures of stuff you're not supposed to eat they give you somewhat healthier (and i use that word loosely) options for some of your favorite places to eat. Granted I try to avoid eating at fast food places, or in chain restaurants as a rule, but sometimes you are stuck eating there, whether for work or someone in your family chooses to eat there for their birthday. Its nice to know you're not secretly eating the 1,700 calorie / 62 grams of fat chicken salad at Chili's but something a little less bad for your ass heart.

Have any of you seen THIS?!
 I saw a commercial for this monstrosity the other day, and I have a few things to say about it.
FIRST OFF -- if your dog is fat, its YOUR FAULT . Unless he's escaping every night (also your fault) and eating out of dumpsters form a Chinese restaurant, you're in charge of feeding him. This means you don't give your dog Doritos. Sweet Jesus, even I don't eat those, let along give them to my dog. My dad is notorious for giving his dog saltine crackers. What the fuck?! Talk about empty calories. Anyway. If you can't manage to restrain yourself from giving your pup too many treats, or God forbid, use a measuring cup when feeding your pooch, you don't deserve to own a pet. Seriously. They are genetically engineered to eat whenever and whatever they can. In the wild, its feast or famine, and your dog is only a few generations away from being a wild dog. 

So WHYYYYY  would you spend all this money on a "diet system" for your dog? Its pre-measured food (um... ever heard of a measuring cup?) and pre portioned treats (uh yeah, you don't know how to count?). THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE PAYING FOR. What the shit?! Laziness to the millionth degree. Let me guess, you're incredibly over weight too. *sigh* This is why the terrorists hate America. Hell, this is why I hate America.


Where the hell are my W-2's!!!
I worked for a company that went out of business, thank youuuuuuuu Hollywood Video, and I'm hoping I get my W-2's soon. I wanna get my refund baby!! Mama wants a new tv!! The 22" tube monstrosity just isn't cutting it for me. Hellooo 42" LCD Flatscreen. YES!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Monday, January 24

mama wants to fit into her skinny jeans!!

Hello dear readers!

I hope you had a lovely weekend. I did. My book club got together for a board game night and has a blast! Book club? Board games? Nerdy? Some may say yes. Hells yes!! :)

Anywhoodle. The point of today is thus:

I've started another blog. Its different than this one, so no need to reset your Google Readers to another website or change your favorites. I'm starting on a weight loss journey. I can't believe I just said "weight loss journey". Who am I?! Anyway, I read somewhere that blogging about your *cough* journey, can help you "stick to it", and be more accountable. Sounds good to me!

So -- if this interests you at all, feel free to check it out! Its the same old me, funny & sarcastic... just talking about food and exercise. I won't be sad if the sound of this bores you. It honestly kinda bores me too. But I'm tired of being a fatty. If anyone wants to head on over I'd really appreciate your support! If not, no hard feelings :) I still heart all of your faces.

Back to the usual, come tomorrow! Peace out!

Saturday, January 22

shitty movies, and how to avoid them

After having worked at a video store for more than 10+ years, I believe I have what it takes to weed out a bad movie. I can beat all my friends at SceneIt! I can usually spot the good ones and the bad ones instantly, sometimes just from the poster. However sometimes even my own movie taste gets shanked. Hard. A few examples from last year alone were The Other Guys, Couples Retreat, Funny People, The Box, Skyline, Copout...

As you can see its possible for these producers to fool and reel in even the most critical of all movie-goers. However, I'm still surprised at how some people think "That's gonna be so gooooood!"  and I just shake my head. Follow these easy steps and you too can save your hard earned cash, or precious time, for a good movie
  1. Avoid PG-13 rated Action or Horror. Seriously. I learned this trick from my brother. No blood? No swearing? No violence? Call me old-fashioned, but I need a couple of well placed "FUCK!"s in my movies. Think Traitor, Armageddon, or Drag Me To Hell. All of these could have been much better given an 'R' rating. Plus there'll be fewer annoying teenagers at the theater with you, talking, texting, seat hopping, and being... well... teenagers. **Please note: this rule does not necessarily apply to comedies Sci-Fi of suspense type movies.**
  2. Sequels in which none of the original characters return. This seems so obvious to me, but again, some people are fooled. There's a reason those actors aren't coming back. Cause the new script sucks. ie. Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift.
  3. Sequels where there are no unanswered questions from the first movie (or two). ie. Little Fockers.
  4. Anything straight to video, with the exception of Indie films. These are usually not straight to video, but unless you live in New York, LA or Chicago, you may have missed their theatrical release. Its usually best to go off of recommendations for indie flicks though. Cause there's a lot of shit running around on the IFC channel.
  5. Anything that sounds vaguely similar, or even with the exact same name as something coming out in the theater. When I was working at the video store this crap happened ALL. THE. TIME. Don't be fooled by movies like this...
    No Jake Busey was NOT in the Tom Cruise version
    ... and...
    Look kids! Transformers is out! Or is it?
    The World's Dumbest Man did a whole blog on crap like this.
  6. Avoid any movie coming out in January or February. Don't believe me? Go ahead and watch No Strings Attached, The Rite, or The Eagle and tell me I'm wrong. If it were any good, studios would have rushed this movie out for the Christmas movie rush, and to make them eligible for the 2010 Oscars.
  7. If you've seen the trailer 398 times and its still a month away from release. I'm looking right at you Green Hornet. There is a small chance that the producers are really proud of their cinematic piece of work. But more than likely they're trying to make up for the fact that its getting crap reviews.
  8. Finally, check Rotten Tomatoes. I love this site because they take ALL reviews and average them. They're almost always right on. I meant they rated Season of the Witch (another January release, the alarms should already be ringing in your head) 5%.
Have fun, keep expectations low (then you're never disappointed) and see you at the movies!!

      Friday, January 21

      i'm in here

      My most overplayed song of the moment.

      Loves me some Sia.

      This song is the epitome of how i feel when i travel. Longing for somewhere new. Longing for all the places I've already been. Homesick for a place i will never be.

      Heartache. Peace. Sadness. Joy.

      Thursday, January 20


      So I've been toying with the idea of asking for my old job back.

      Lets go back.

      2 years ago I quit my job as a claims adjuster to join the Peace Corps. Granted I had to move home and pay off all my debts before I could do this. So I packed up my car, and drove from NY back to OR. Well, you can say my (professional) life has been in the shitter ever since. With near nil jobs on the horizon, I've been scraping by on unemployment and the occasional part time job. Needless to say I haven't made a dent on my debts, and honestly haven't paid nearly anything on them since I left. Oh-- and I broke my finger so add on another $1500 in no insurance medical bills I've yet to pay.

      Fast forward to now. No job prospects. Not a single one. I've been regularly applying for 5-8 jobs per week. In a word, its devastating. I mean, I have a degree and a fairly descent work history. I'm outgoing, friendly, and have a good head on my shoulders. Well, anyway, its discouraging to not get any interviews, and knowing that your unemployment will be running out in approximately 9 weeks.


      And now we're here.

      Let me clarify. The job was not awful. The company was great. That's not the reason I originally left. I know I was well thought of (people have actually told me this) and am fairly certain I can return, other than 2 things.

      1. My DUI last year.
      2. My credit has gone to shit.

      So now comes the Pros and Cons list.

      1. Great company to work for
      2. Great people to work for, good friends
      3. Really care about their employees
      4. Good benefits
      5. Descent pay
      6. Flexible work schedule
      7. Company car
      8. 100% promote from within
      9. Secure business sector
      1. Not very intellectually stimulating
      2. 90% chance I'll have to move
      3. Moving somewhere new, starting over, again 
      4. Not international
      5. May not have a good Manager or Supervisor (which can make or break the job)
      6. May force Mr. Man and I into either moving in together before we're ready or breaking up (or both)
      7. Lawyers
      8. "Fake" injuries and the people who have them
      9. Being on call
      That's what I have so far. I could probably come up with more on each side.

      I guess the biggest one is the boyfriend one. Mr. Man and I have been together for a year now. Things are good. Solid. I wouldn't say blissful, magical or perfect. I wouldn't say we're necessarily ready to live together either. But then again, I've never lived with a boyfriend before, so I have no idea when that timing is "supposed" to take place. Last weekend we had a discussion about this. I asked how he'd feel if I had to move, if he'd come with me, or if we'd break up, etc. He seemed positive. He said it would depend on where. He said that he's not in love with his job, but he'd need to be able to find something. So that seemed promising, and yet still, very up in the air. I don't think he really wants to move. Probably scared to. He's lived here all his life. I understand that feeling. It is scary moving across the country. Or even to a new place where you don't know anyone. Scary and exciting. Invigorating.

      This is where I leave you. Do you have any thoughts? Have any of you had any circumstances like this in your life? I'd love some feed back...


      Monday, January 17

      long weekend

      Snowshoeing this weekend was awesome! Went to my family's cabin for the long weekend with Mr. Man to test out our new Christmas snowshoes. So much fun! I even learned to play cribbage... which I kind of suck at :)
      Hope you had a great weekend too!

      This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

      Thursday, January 13

      how to know if you need new glasses...

      Searching through the guide on the tv looking for something to watch.

      I come across "Nasty Wines"

      "Hmmm" I think. Nasty Wines? A show about what wines are gross? Could be interesting... or funny...

      *presses the "info" button*
      "Newly divorced flight attendants spend a girls night at home reliving their hottest exploits while sharing scandalous mile high stori-- "
      wait a minute...

      Oh. Its called Nasty WIVES. Doh!

      Tuesday, January 11

      random shizz tuesday

      Serenity Now!! Insanity Later...

      Call me insensitive, call me an asshole, but really-- there's a few news stories I'm really tired of hearing about.
      1. I'm terribly sorry that the AZ Senator was shot. Who's to blame? Sarah Palin? The crazy guy who actually shot her? Whatever. Its sad, I'm sorry it happened, but every 30 minutes is TOO MUCH. Really, nothing has changed.
      2. SNOWPOCALYPSE!! Get over it people. Its snow for Christ's sake. It happens ALL. THE. TIME. Here's a thought. STOP DRIVING IN IT! Almost all of the South East was shut down before the snow started falling. So what's you're excuse for driving around in it? Gotta catch that flight?! If you can't GET TO THE AIRPORT, then your flight sure as shit ain't talking off. So quit bitching about it. *sigh*
      3. And finally, thank God the National Championship game is over. Did we really need 3,591 features on each team? Each player? Each coach? Fuuuuuuuuuck. Its clear to me that ESPN cares about Cam Newton more than his own mother does. Moving on!
       I can see why people watch shit shows and reality tv. Cause the news is so repetitive! I myself changed the channel to Millionaire Matchmaker because I was tired of hearing about the 'Moment of Silence' that they talked about for 3 hours YESTERDAY. Of course I guess I could read a book... Nah!!

      -- -- -- --

      Is there some reason the homes built pre-1990 must have shower heads that start at my neck?! I'm tall-ish, but being 5'8" hardly makes me a giant-freak-person. However I'm so tired of having to wrench my neck and back to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. Its insane? If you're short, you're lucky on this one. Nothing is worse than being hungover, already balance impaired, and nearly losing your shit trying to wash the drunk out of your hair. Am I the only one with this problem?

      -- -- -- --

      I just realized that I can recognize Caddyshack by the first few seconds of the opening credits. Yes Bob, I can name that tune in 3 notes. You know, I've often thought of becoming a golf club.

      -- -- -- --

      Aaaaand Congratulations to Auburn, who seriously played better than Oregon yesterday. Although, apparently they were just giving away 2 point conversions.

      Monday, January 10


      Yes folks, its gametime. I sit here wearing green. I'm not really happy about it either. I've decided to do the grown up thing and root for Oregon. Being a staunch Oregon State fan (GO BEAVERS!) I agree that its the right thing to do, to root for the Pac-10 (Soon to be Pac-12). I feel dirty too. I wasn't even going to watch the game, cause I'm having such a hard time with this, but I'm at my cousin's house, and they are HUGE Oregon Duck fans... and they informed me I had to wear green, or else I'd have to wait outside (its about 15 degrees here today).

      All I can say is, I can't wait for this to be over. I'm SO TIRED of hearing about the Ducks. Blah blah blah. Its not my team, and yeah, I'm pouting about it. Whateva! I do what I want!

      I also realize that if/when they win, I will never hear the end of it... for at least the next decade. I can see it now... "Hey remember when we won the National Championship?! How many titles have your Beavers won?!" Shut your pie hole.

      Hope you all enjoy the game... I gotta start drinking. And uh... *cough* go ducks.

      Oh-- and hope you all like my new layout! :)

      Friday, January 7

      365 days, is a lot of days...

      Holy shit, "anonymous" finally has a blog! Not that any of you would know who I'm talking about, but one of my RL friends always comments as anonymous. (She's now badheadday)Well, her New Year's Resolution was to "create" something everyday of 2011. Quite a loft goal, but pretty awesome too. She's very crafty, always doing all kinds of fun projects involving paint, or paste, or something crafty she picked up from Michael's. She's created a blog to chronicle her journey, and I hope you all check it out and support her. Maybe you'll even be inspired too! Check her out!

      the 365 project

      Oh-- I also kinda forgot that I have a photography blog. I've resolved to update it more often. And try to update it with pictures that I don't always put up here (repetition is boringgggg). Its nothing major, but just a fun place to put some of my many pictures. Check it out, puh-puh-please!


      Happy Friday!

      Thursday, January 6

      first gripe of 2011

      I read this post last year sometime and loved it. All the props go to Hot Pants over at Handbags and Handguns, of whom I stole this post.

      I love blog comments. I love responding to blog comments. Most importantly, I love responding to blog comments by hitting reply in my email because it's so easy. If you don't have an email address linked to your blog, it's very unlikely you'll get a response from me. Here are some easy steps to rectify the problem. It really opens the lines of communication. It's super fun, and who doesn't love fun?

      1. Go to your Dashboard.

      2. Click on Edit Profile.

      3. Look in the Privacy section.

      4. Make sure the Show My Email Address box is checked.

      5. In the Identity section, enter the email address you'd like linked to your blog.

      6. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click Save.

      7. You can always create an email account for your blog or use one you already have.

      8. It's really that simple.
      Thank you Hot Pants!

      Smooches and Smacks,

      Tuesday, January 4

      random shizz tuesday 2011!!

      Serenity Now!! Insanity Later...
      I've missed you all! I swear! I'm trying to get more motivated to write witty things for you... but some days... I just got nothin. I'll work on it. I swear.

      Resolutions for this year:
      1. Lose weight (duh, isn't everyone doing that?!) 
      2. Read all the books for my book club. Yes, I started the book club, and I've only actually finished 3 of them. (we've read about 9 now...)
      3. Cut out all fast food. No, subway doesn't count, that's still okay.
      4. Donate blood. I mean sweet Jesus, I don't even know what my blood type is. What if I have that rare "I could save the whole planet" rare blood. Talk about selfish!!
      5. Get. A. Job. Amen!!
      Pajama jeans?!  Really?! What. The. Fuck. 
      Have you seen this shit? Its pure insanity. This is the end of our society. Pajamas, made to look like jeans. I'm not entirely sure how they differ from jeggings, but apparently they do. Cause they have their own informercial. Its bad enough I have to go to Target and see people in their actual pajamas, but now they'll be pretending to be "dressed" too?! Plus, like the dreaded jeggings, the only people wearing them will be big-fat-fatties.

      I just watched an episode of Hoarders where the woman hoarded chickens.
      FUCKING CHICKENS. Speechless.