Monday, April 19

does a bear shit in the woods?

I know, I know, I've been a bad blog friend this last few days. Sometimes when life feels like its going to shit, its just hard to sit down and put it into words. Or to be funny. Or to not teach idiot drivers "lessons" with my car. Bit I digress... More on that later. For now its

Monday Minute

Its a Monday tradition over at the DDoR to sit back, relax, and take a Monday Minute. This is my first MM, so please enjoy!

1 - Ever take a shit in the woods?
Get ready for some TMI here. Its a tradition in my friend circle to have "River Parties" down at my parents house. Our property is less than a 1/4 mile from a shallow, slow moving part of the Santiam River, surrounded by lovely birch trees and the perfect spot for tubing, drinking and bonfiring. Well lets just say, that when you start drinking at noon, you may need to use the non-existent outdoor facilities at one time or another. And hypothetically speaking I may have used the non-existent facilities. Paper towels have many, many uses. The worst part is seeing it later, in the morning. Spotting the paper towels through the shrubs and hearing someone yell "Who took a dump over there?!?"

Embarrassment is so much easier to hide in the dark.

2 - If you won $1,000, what's the first thing you would do with it besides give Ian a cut?
Remember when $100 was a lot of money? Or even $500? Good Lord, now $1000 wouldn't even make a dent! *sigh* Beer money. Vacation money. Maybe pay some to my mom (whom I currently owe over $3000... Whooray for financial independence!)

3 - What's your favorite phrase?

The Inspirational ~
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." (Martin Luther King Jr.)

The Amusing ~
"Boring is a choice; Mild salsa and pleated khakis don't buy themselves."

and The Ever Impressive ~
"There's no shower strong enough to wash the douche-bag from your soul."

4 - Fill in the blank - the world would be a better place if ______ left the planet.
Fear-mongering, ignorance-pandering and down right LYING politicians and "political analists" such as Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin.

5 - How do you take your coffee or tea?
I like my coffee like I like my women. Covered in bees!!


Mrs. Beer said...

Oh no! If someone discovered my poop in the woods I would have run away and just hope to god a pack of wolves would adopt me. Why is poop so embarrassing for women? I swear my husband still thinks the only female who poops in this family is my daughter.

Wicked Shawn said...

One of the reasons that I now insist on going to real campgrounds. I had no control of that ahem shit when I was a kid, now I do. :)