Thursday, December 10

outta the road junior

Maybe its just me, but I hate school zones.

Forgive me if you have children and are truly offended by these words. But I've yet to get grace this world with a mini-me, so let me rant.

How does this make sense? The entire school yard is surrounded by fencing. Chain link fencing. And sometimes theres some sort of barb wire at the top, so i'm sure these little monsters aren't getting out that easily. So whyyy is it that we have to drive TWENTY FUCKING MPH when we pass the school? Not only do they have to hop the damn fence to get into the street, but shouldn't we be, I don't know say, teaching our kids to not play in the road?

Hey tommy. Cars are fast. And heavy. You are not that fast. You will lose. Get out of the street.

Pretty simple wouldn't you say?

The thing that makes me the most irritated is when the school zone isn't ever NEAR the school. Its something like four blocks away, but heaven forbid Jr. wants to use a cross walk on the way home and if you're in the same zip code from 8am to 4pm you have to SLAM on your breaks just in case you see a youngster.

Maybe we should be weeding out the stupid and slow anyway. Perhaps deepen up the gene pool a bit? Ya, watch out, I'm gunning for your kids. OUT OF THE ROAD!! BEEP! BEEP!

And don't get me started on these signs. It literally makes me want to speed up. Literally.


Aunt Juicebox said...

Well, I have a kid and I hate school zones too. However, the theory that we should be teaching our kids not to play in the street is out dated. Don't you know that parents don't teach their kids anything anymore? That would be too much like work.

TimothyPeacock said...

Nice job. I'm reminded of two things in reading this.

1) Back in my college days, I was given a ticket for speeding in a school zone. I didn't realize that the speed limit dropped from 35mph to 25mph and they nabbed me for going 45mph. They specified on my citation that I was speeding in a school zone. When I got home, I looked up the fine online. The fines were EXACTLY the same between school zones and non-school zones. So what's the difference?

2) When I was in high school, one of the inhabitants of my neighborhood told that I should drive under the speed limit because he considered the speed limit to be too high. I told him to take it up with the county. He told me "Well, some times my kids dart out into the street and if you're driving the speed limit, you probably won't stop." I was dumbfounded. Literally. I couldn't, and didn't, even respond. Here is a guy telling me to alter my perfectly legal routine because his own children know no better than to run into the street. I got some windburn in the back my throat from standing there slack-jawed for several minutes.

McGriddle Pants said...

exactly. HIS children are the ones that probably should be eliminated. I tell my mom that all the time about our dogs. They run out in front of our car in the driveway. I say, if they get bopped once, they'll learn to stay the hell away from cars!
Just my opinion though :) hehee

Coming Along Nicely said...

I'm a mom and I hate them too. It seems like the whole effing town of Indepepndence is one big fucking school zone.