Infuse this!

Woah. Seriously, I'm still alive! Life is busy, but it goes on, no?

I've been busy busy busy working working working. But I've been trying to be super crafty lately, inspired of course by Pinterest.

You can find me here

I attempt to actually recreate things I see on Pinterest to help justify all my time spent on the site...

So here's two recent adventures...

Home made Vanilla Extract

This was a super easy project, and smells so good!

I found these great little bottles at The Container Store for only $4 each!!

Then you just fill with Vodka (or Bourbon) and whole vanilla beans! I sliced the beans up the middle with some scissors and put them in the bottles! I used 3 beans per bottle. Some recipes online show way more vanilla beans per bottle of vodka, one even said SEVENTY for a half a gallon of vodka. Which seems a little steep! Especially considering vanilla beans are around $1.50 each.

I love how this turned out! I'm going to write a little note for each one letting the recipient know to wait 30 days before using it. The taste difference in your baking is outstanding! Plus most store bought vanilla extracts have a TON of added sugar. That's just bad news bears!

Infusion... commence!

Cranberry-Lime Infused Vodka

Secondly I found this awesome Cranberry-Lime infused vodka recipe, that also seemed like a great Christmas gift idea! It works out to be about $9 per bottle! Of course I found these awesome bottles at Grocery Outlet (a bargain grocery store) filled with some sort of fizzy pink lemonade for only #2.99, so I realize these bottles at this price may be difficult to find. Again, they sell 

something similar at The Container Store.

From there I just bought 2 pounds of whole cranberries, sat in front of the tv and proceeded to poke holes in all the cranberries and put them in the bottles. Around 2/3 of the way, I put the rind of one lime in each bottle. Then I put a few more berries on top! And of course, fill with vodka! yes! This smells SO GOOD! And I have more vodka left, so I'm going to make a few more bottles. I again bought a half of a gallon of Svedka, which is on sale for $20 in stores here, so I have enough left for about 2-3 more bottles of this goodness! I found this idea at The Fancy Napkin, and I'm also going to attach this recipe for Cran-tinis to the bottles when I gift them.

Hark! I bring tidings of great booze.

Crantini's

Ingredients:

1/2 oz. Triple Sec

1 1/2 oz. Cranberry-Lime Infused vodka

4 oz. Cranberry juice

Ice

Directions:

Shake with ice, and shake well. Strain and serve in a martini glass

Garnish with cranberries or a lime twist.

Hugs and kisses!

McGriddle Pants

Boo!

Happy Day! Now if only I can find my copy of Hocus Pocus...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I write nearly the same post almost every St. Patrick's Day...

"There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were."

God isn't that the truth. I get so sick of people claiming to be Irish on St. Patrick's day. We all know those these douchebags. They're everywhere. And they really seem to crawl out of the woodwork mid-March.

I'm sorry, but unless you have an Irish accent, or parents with an Irish accent, you're fucking American. Do you have a passport from Ireland? No? Then shutthefuckup. Good Lord.

I mean, I'm all for having pride in your heritage. I'm Dutch, Scotch (Scot? Whatever. Scotch just sounds cooler.) and German. But I sure as shit don't go running around in late September (check it, that's when Oktoberfest actually is) yelling how German I am, and kicking up my heels and doing a polka jig in my lederhosen. NO. My great-grandmother was German. That makes me about 1/8th German, and not enough to run around with the German flag on my back. It just makes me love beer. I'm pretty sure its in my genes. But I digress...

Take a look around today and tonight. Listen to the morons. According to the general population, about 86.49% of America claims to be "Irish." Too bad I have to listen to douchebags all day. And no, I don't believe that you always drink Guiness. Drink a fifth of Bushmills, and we'll talk.

Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE St. Patrick's day. I mean, any reason to drink more beer than usual, green or no, is a great day in my opinion. And bars like to make the beer cheaper.

I have no clue where I found the following article, and honestly it was several years ago, so I'm sorry I'm not citing the source. My bad. If anyone finds it, let me know, and I'll cite it as the IAPEC requires. (the Internet Anti-Plagarism Enforcement Committee. Yes I made that up)

Please let me clear up a few blatantly wrong ideas people seem to have about Paddy's day.

Firstly, the next time I meet someone who says that people in Ireland don’t celebrate Paddy’s day in Ireland, I am going to punch them in the face. How people ever got that misguided idea, I don't know.

Almost as bad is the idea that it is celebrated ’better’ in the U.S. Paddy’s day here is fun, no doubt, but at the end of the day all it is is people wearing green and getting drunk. In Ireland it is a national holiday, so no one works or goes to school. It is much more of a family holiday with every little town having a parade to celebrate. It is also a true cultural event with numerous ceili (singing and dancing festivals) and sporting events taking place. Of course there is a wild night of drinking after, but drinking isn't as central to the holiday as it is in the US.

It is PaDDy's day, not PaTTy's day - I cannot stress enough that seeing it written PaTTy's day makes most real Irish people physically ill.

And as for all the fighting about where Saint Patrick came from etc, historians aren’t even sure if the guy existed for definite, so everyone needs to relax on that score!

Have fun today and tonight, and Cheers! And no pinching, that's for middle schoolers.

Look at me! I'm Irish!!

i believe.

Dear Santa,

I've been very good this year. I picked up my clothes almost every day. I tried really, really hard to be nice to my brother. I shared my blanket when cuddling with Mr. Man. I ate my vegetables. And I washed behind my ears.

All I want for Christmas is a new job. Something with good benefits. A regular work schedule. Preferably using my degree, but I won't hold you to that.

Thanks Santa!

best of christmastime, no shopping required

eggnog! christmas carols champagne bringing trees indoors vacation days snow globes  snow holiday movies christmas lights board games pie humongous dinners candles family cookies mistletoe charlie brown christmas candy pigs in a blanket snuggling spiced cider Bing Crosby crackling fireplaces  
  candy canes  snowmen  cards mittens schnapps  poinsettias wreaths nutmeg jingle bells Blitzen Santa hats

a festivus miracle!

Best commercial I've seen in years...

Random *White Elephant* Shit Tuesday

As someone who has to participate in 3 (THREE!) White Elephant exchanges this year (not to mention the 2 "regular" gift exchanges) I was in need of some brilliant inspiration. Unlike some of my friends, I don't have a bevey previous years white elephant gifts to reuse. My friend has a "gorgeous" koi sculpture, that would be... a... centerpiece? ... kitchey bookend?... uhhhh... no idea. So needless to say its been the subject of regifting in her office for the last 6 years.

But for me, I want something awesome... and awful. But not like smelly gym socks awful, but "ohhhhhh my God where the HELL did you find THIS?! awful. After some careful research, this is what I've found, and want to pass the inspiration on to you dear friends :)

Best White Elephant Gifts:

1. Hubcaps for a car no one owns

2. Spam
Preferrably a giant Costco or Sam's Club size

3. Fake chest hair
 
4. Toilet seat

Tell me this isn't AWESOME!?!

5. The Clapper

6. Edible underwear

7. Old bowling pin 

(most bowling alley's will sell old ones for $2-5)

8. A six-pack of really cheap beer.

9. A tourism guide book to Detroit

Or other comparable, un-touristy place

10. Wasabi Lip Balm

www.perpetualkid.com/wasabi-lip-balm

11. Dirt Scented Purfume

12. An Old Calendar

Believe it or not, you can reuse them! 
Google "when my 1998 calendar be good again" and you can find out that its good again in 2036!!

13. Rid or Nix Lice Elimination Kit

14. Picture of yourself on a coffee cup!

15. A framed, autographed picture of yourself. 

My personal favorite

HAPPY ShOPpiNg!

wrong in all the right ways

Hiiiyoooooo!

I finally, FINALLY FINALLY all moved in! And I finally have internet! I'm sure you've all been there. Having moved in, but pacing the floor patiently waiting for the comcast guy to come, to get the internet and cable tv all set up. This must be what a heroin addict feels like, needing a fix. GIMME MY FIX CABLE MAN!!

Whew. The hard part is over now.

So I hope you all had a lovely holiday weekend. We had a big family dinner which is always interesting. Laughing, talking, lots of drama, whispering in one room, filling wine glasses in the next. Ohhhhh family. Isn't passive aggressiveness FUN!?! We took it fairly easy on the wine this year (as opposed to last Christmas when we drank 23 bottles of wine and there were 14 guests, two of whom were children and didn't drink and two were DD's and didn't drink... you do the math! WHOOP!) We did however have a turkey, a ham, elk roast and ANOTHER turkey. Seriously. We were worried about not having any leftovers. WRONG. Oh and not to mention the 15 pounds of mashed potatoes and SEVEN pies. We didn't even touch 2 of them. Ahhh!

On to other news, I now live with two kitties. The cutest kitties I have ever seen. Not so much that they are fluffy and adorable, but that they're INSANE and CRAZY and I love that about them. They are so entertaining :) I've re-named them (because I have no idea what they're names were before) Mischief and Mayhem. And boy do they live up to their names. I have video of Mischief chasing his tail in a tupperware tub. Too funny. But the best part is my mouser Mayhem. He's taken to playing in the bathtub. He likes to play with his fake mousies in the tub, flipping them up and around and pouncing on them. I think he likes that the shower curtain keeps them contained.

So anywhoodle... Cut to Saturday morning... 6:30 am...

*thump*
*thump thump*
*thud*
*thump*
*thud thud*

Sure enough. Mayhem. In the tub. With an actual dead mouse. Throwing it into the air, and attacking it. Kinda gross and kinda awesome at the same time. I let him play with it for another 30 minutes before I disposed of it. With tongs. LONG ass tongs.

But to THIS morning. 3:30 in the freaking am.
*thump*
*thump thump*
squeeeeeeeak!
*thud*
*thump* squeeeeeeeek!!
*thud thud*
squeeeek!

what they do, when i'm not home

Oh yeah. You guessed it. A LIVE mouse. Fucking alive, in my bathtub. Holy crap. I tried to get him to kill it. Meanwhile the other cat kept trying to worm in, and Mischief would grooooooooowl at him. Too funny. And again, kinda gross. I really felt bad for that poor mouse. Panting and panting. Kinda giving up on life, and yet still fighting. I don't have the heart to kill it. So I got my "mouse tongs" which have been officially repourposed and will never again touch food, and remove said victim and take it outside to the burning barrel. Hopefully he died quickly, cause I know there was no hope for the poor little guy.

And thus I leave you. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend! And hopefully I'll be around a little more again! Love you all!

And here's a special shout out to Dr. Monkey VonMonkerstein, whom I totally forgot to invite to my pretend blog party. OF COURSE you'd be invited!! I'm sorry I was in a rush when addressing my pretend invitations. I just assumed you'd get the invite on facebook ;D
*smooches*

happy birthday america... and all that jazz

First off... I want to say a big THANK YOU for everyone who gave me support yesterday! You don't know how much you kiddies mean to me. Its a surprising little support network we've got here!

An update, Mr. man has backed out of this weekend. I'm really not sure what his deal is. He's worried about his cat, the oil leak in his car, etc, etc. I literally called him out and asked simply

"It seems you really don't want to spend any time with me. Are you wanting me to break up with you? Cause you're sure acting like it."

He says NO! But he also says that he doesn't know what he wants me to do, or whats going on with him. I guess he's stressed, confused, and doesn't know what to do with his emotions (or how to properly deal with stress). Whatevs.

So there you have it. I'm done with worrying. We talked for over an hour, and I feel good about it. I said everything I was wanting to say to him, and more. I'm leaving it all in his court now.

I'm DETERMINED to have fun this weekend. I'm still going to the lake and camping with some good times friends. He says he may come out tomorrow (if he gets his car fixed). I'm not going to hold my breath, I'm just going to focus on the positive and let him deal with his shit. I've tried to help, and I'm really getting nowhere. I'll just leave him be, and basically be there for him when he figures his shit out. Until he tells me how to help him, I can't do much.

So everyone... Have a great weekend! Cause that's what I'm gonna do!!

Cheers! Have some beers! Have some hotdogs and hamburgers! Eat so much potato salad if comes out your ears! Enjoy the fireworks! Do what makes you happy! Cause we all deserve to be happy!!

Now I have to get back to inflating this inner tube. I had to take a break cause I was about to pass out, but the River Rat sure as shit ain't gonna inflate itself!! Word!!

Now please enjoy some 4th of July inspired eCards.

lemosas and boozey eggs

Spring has sprung!

My soon-to-be beautiful Nasturtiums have sprouted! So have my snap peas and cilantro! Yipee!!

I hope everyone had a great Easter! Mine was filled with ham and potatoes and lemon tarts and ridiculous adult easter egg hunts. Get your mind out of the gutter you pervs!! It was just an easter egg hunt with grown-up treats! Such as... candy (of course), lottery tickets, CASH MONEY, and mini booze bottles. Yeahhhh! And of course, INDOORS since it was raining cats and dogs yesterday.

Oh! And how could I forget these little beauties:

photo courtesy of The Food Network

Champagne and Lemonade! Or as my brother called them, "Lemosas"

Hooray for Jesus!

wearing some green up in here!

"There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were."

God isn't that the truth. I get so sick of people claiming to be Irish on St. Patrick's day. We all know those these douchebags. They're everywhere. And they really seem to crawl out of the woodwork mid-March.

I'm sorry, but unless you have an Irish accent, or parents with an Irish accent, you're fucking American. Do you have a passport from Ireland? No? Then shutthefuckup. Good Lord.

I mean, I'm all for having pride in your heritage. I'm Dutch, Scotch (Scot? Whatever. Scotch just sounds cooler.) and German. But I sure as shit don't go running around in late September (check it, that's when Oktoberfest actually is) yelling how German I am, and kicking up my heels and doing a polka jig in my lederhosen. NO. My great-grandmother was German. That makes me about 1/8th German, and not enough to run around with the German flag on my back. It just makes me love beer. I'm pretty sure its in my genes. But I digress...

Take a look around today and tonight. Listen to the morons. According to the general population, about 86.49% of America claims to be "Irish." Too bad I have to listen to douchebags all day. And no, I don't believe that you always drink Guiness. Drink a fifth of Bushmills,* and we'll talk.

Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE St. Patrick's day. I mean, any reason to drink more beer than usual, green or no, is a great day in my opinion. And bars like to make the beer cheaper on St. Paddy's day. So more power to you Ireland! I just hate all these assholes who are all "I'm Irish" on this, such a potentially great day.

I have no clue where I found this article, and honestly it was several years ago, so I'm sorry I'm not citing the source. My bad. If anyone finds it, let me know, and I'll cite it as the IAPEC requires. (the Internet Anti-Plagarism Enforcement Committee. Yes I made that up)

Please let me clear up a few blatantly wrong ideas people seem to have about Paddy's day.

Firstly, the next time I meet someone who says that people in Ireland don’t celebrate Paddy’s day in Ireland, I am going to punch them in the face. How people ever got that misguided idea, I don't know.

Almost as bad is the idea that it is celebrated ’better’ in the U.S. Paddy’s day here is fun, no doubt, but at the end of the day all it is is people wearing green and getting drunk. In Ireland it is a national holiday, so no one works or goes to school. It is much more of a family holiday with every little town having a parade to celebrate. It is also a true cultural event with numerous ceili (singing and dancing festivals) and sporting events taking place. Of course there is a wild night of drinking after, but drinking isn't as central to the holiday as it is in the US.

It is PaDDy's day, not PaTTy's day - I cannot stress enough that seeing it written PaTTy's day makes most real Irish people physically ill.

And as for all the fighting about where Saint Patrick came from etc, historians aren’t even sure if the guy existed for definite, so everyone needs to relax on that score!

*Here's a little fun fact, that you can bring up at your next dinner party... or kegger.

Just as all champagne is sparkling wine, but not all sparkling wine is champagne, all scotch is whisky, but not all whiskey is scotch.

Scotch whisky, aka Scotch, is whisky distilled (from Rye) in Scotland, and spelled without an "e".

Bourbon (distilled from corn) is whiskey, only made in Kentucky (law states that bourbon has to come from Kentucky).

"i'm not even that drunk yet"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Good riddance 2009!!

Seriously. Seriously folks. Seriously. I had a GREAT New Years Eve. Dick Clark would be proud (if he even knew where he was at the time).

As you can see from yesterday's post we went snowboarding. The great part was we just rolled out of bed, had our coffee and strolled up to the mountain. No rush, no fuss and hit the parking lot at 11am. It was snowing pretty hard and raining at some parts during the drive but we were optimistic. My cousin works for the forest service so she has a free pass and my friend works at the mountain and he hooked me up with a day pass as well. Free boarding is the best boarding. Well, that is until the weather stopped cooperating. Simply put, the weather was awful. Not only am I tremendously out of shape but it was almost whiteout conditions for most of the way. And to make thing even awesomer (its a word, trust me) my goggles started fogging up and getting water in between the lenses. So I could see NOTHING. Falling down, sore, wet, blind, and miserable. After 2 runs and not even 2 hours on the mountain it was time to hit the bar!!

I love mountain bars too. So many cute snowboard guys, chilling out enjoying beer. What's not to love?!? We arrived in just in time for some rocking 80's karaoke. It was blissful. Nothing like a little Motley Crue and Poison to warm your heart. After we disrobed from our dripping wet clothes (its amazing how much water your gloves soak up) we had some brews, nachos and enjoyed the "entertainment." One guy busted out some amazing Bon Jovi (one of the greatest bands of our time, next to Journey of course) was really rocking, and shouted "and i'm not even that drunk yet!" So funny. He definitely won over the crowd.

After we got home we spent the next 6 hours still in our underarmor, enjoying bloody mary's and debated going out. We flip flopped back and forth and finally at 815 decided we'd make a go for it and hit the showers. My friend Adriane was having a get together at her place, where we made our appearance. Lots of food, punch, champagne, dancing, singing and general merriment. It was a perfect way to ring in the new year (no drama, no fights, no crying, much different than my last new years)

Although I'm sore all over from the snowboarding yesterday, I think it was a great I'm not too hungover. Hope you all had a great eve and enjoy the 6 (six!!!) bowl games today. As much as it pains my soul, I am wearing a yellow shirt and will be cheering for the Oregon. GO *cough* ducks! Pictures are posted for your viewing pleasure.

Myself and Adriane rocking to some Bon Jovi.
Waaaaanted... Dead or Aliiiiive!
(yes that's a bottle of vermouth in my pants)


Adriane and her bro Damian


Adriane, Myself and cousin Cheryl.
Too much fun with the horny-blower-things.


I love making noise!! Honnnnnk! Honnnnk!


Happy New Years hats!!

Damian, pictured above, just texted me while typing this out.

"My hangover is epic. It could be a miniseries. 5 two hour episodes."