"Two-Thousand Ten?" or "Twenty Ten?"

Alright! Alright already! FINE! Everybody else is posting their "resolutions" or "goals" or "life change" or whateverrr to their blogs and respective facebook pages.

I tried my hardest to resist, but cannot fight the dark side any longer. I only had a few specific goals for this year, but then decided to add a few more, and maybe add a couple from my Mighty Life List so I could check them off. Oogle and Enjoy!

1. Get into shape. I'm tired of getting winded walking up a flight of stairs, or straining to reach the remote, or have trouble clipping my toe nails. I don't want to set specific weight loss goals, since I tend to do the opposite thing on the scale. Having received a heart rate monitor watch for Christmas, I intend on putting it to good use. If you want specific goals, I hope to fit into my "skinny" jeans by my birthday (July). Those are only two sizes smaller than I am now, so its not unrealistic. Plus, I really love those jeans! Also, I'd like to enter and finish the Bend Beer Run! which is a 3 mile race starting at one brewery and finishing at another. Gotta pace myself, right?

2. Take down the Christmas lights by February 1. (Hey at least they're turned off)

3. Brew Beer. Anyone who knows me, beer is a passion. Why haven't I tackled this one yet?!? One giant step for me, One giant leap towards drunken bar-ownership.

4. Take up yoga. Yes, we'll start small on this one. How about once a month? I can probably handle that. See you there on the 31st!

5. Hey while I'm at it, let me add play more golf. Technically if I played once this year, I'd be playing more golf, since I didn't tee off once last year. Although I was working graveyard shift half the year and slept through most daylight hours. Oh, and then I broke my finger and could barely hold a beer bottle, let alone a golf club. Let's set this one at once a month.

6. Slap someone square in the face. No explanation necessary. I may, or may not, already have someone in mind.

7. Sing karaoke alone. How about something easy like Journey. Everyone can hit those Steve Perry notes right?!?

8. Conserve water. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

9. Eat one fruit and one vegetable per day. Baby steps, remember?

10. Swear less. My mother f*cking mouth is out of control. Instead I will begin using superfluous adjectives to convey my anger/joy/amusement/fury/rage/point.

And of course

11. Get a job
12. Get out of debt.
13. Move out of my parents house.
14. Finish the application process and join the peace corps
15. Create world peace
16. Win nobel peace prize
17. "eliminate" Bill O'Reilly and everyone else on Fox News.
18. Marry Robert Downey Jr.
19. Prepare for the Twitter-pocalypse
20. Donate blood (in preparation for the twitter-pocalypse)

Is curiosity killing you? Just dyying to know what my last year's resolution was?
I had only one. Stop drinking and driving.
Want to know what happened in March? Yup, DUI.

I leave you with this.