So yesterday I applied for a new job and it had one of those "screening tests" where in which you answer around 100 random questions about yourself in which you must lie your pants off because if you were to answer truthfully, you'd never in a million years, get an interview.
Answer: I never get agitated, or hold a grudge.
Truth: I am touchy about a lot of things.Get the fuck away from me.
Answer: I've never lost my temper.
Truth: Well, not today... yet.
Answer: I have never said something that I later regretted.
Truth: Hello? Have we met?
But this test/questionnaire took the cake. I don't know what kind of employees they've had in the past, but I'm thinking that drugs may be an issue. Granted this was for a large Hippie Market chain, in which I'm sure many employees are pot smoking college students. However, this seemed like a bit much:. These are actual questions that I answered. NONE have been duplicated, although it seems very repetitive. These are all questions that you say "Strongly agree" or "Slightly agree" or "Slightly Disagree" or "Strongly Disagree"
- Companies make too big a deal out of employees using illegal drugs on the job.
- There is never a good reason to use illegal drugs while at work.
- Pre-employment drug testing is an invasion of a person's privacy.
- Using illegal drugs on the job is just plain wrong.
- It is okay to use illegal drugs on the job as long as it does not become a habit.
- It is okay to give or sell illegal drugs to your co-workers as long as it isn't taken to the extreme. Using illegal drugs on the job is not justification for termination.
- Giving illegal drugs to your co-workers is not as bad as selling illegal drugs to them.
- It is okay to use illegal drugs on the job as long as it doesn't cause safety problems.
- If you have a good reason, it is okay to use illegal drugs while at work.
And that's not all! Here are the theft questions:
- If you are working in a store, it is all right to take merchandise as long as you intend to pay for it later.
- In some instances there are good reasons for stealing.
- People who steal from their employer are just plain dishonest.
- When I hear a person who claims they have never stolen anything, I don't believe them
- It is only fair to steal from your employer to make up for low wages.
- Stealing equipment, supplies and merchandise from your company is not the same as stealing money
- There is never a good reason to take something that doesn’t belong to you.
- It is not the same to steal something that is insured rather than something that is not insured.
- There is never a good reason to steal anything from your company.
So for today, I've given up and am watching Mama Mia! again... I love The Streep!!