random scheiße tuesday

I've been trying to write a post for almost 2 days now! Talk about uninspired. I have stuff to say, but I can't seem to formulate a coherent thought. I feel like I've been just sitting waiting for Tuesday just to write this blog post! Well... here goes!! Random Scheiße Tuesday!!

Mom and I had an awesome time this weekend! Lots of mother/daughter shenanigans. Yes! Surreal Neil was great! I can't even believe how much mom enjoyed herself. (the beer helped). Unbeknownst to me she's had a hugenormous crush on him for decades! Good Mr. Man was busy, because she enjoyed herself far more than he ever would have :)

Mom having waaay to much fun :)

VIPs baby!!

Of course you all know we went hunting for yard sale treasures on Friday, and Saturday we went to my old co-workers wedding. It was so much fun! Two words. Open. Bar. YES! Lets just say a great time was had by all... and my mom STOLE a wine glass (full of wine) from the reception!! What can I say? She wasn't done with her wine yet... HAHAA! (And people wonder where I get it from?!) The best part was she totally has no memory of this, so I proceeded to give her shit for an hour the following morning. AND of course I left my phone and camera in the car, so no pictures from the wedding or reception. But it was gorgeously done and the evening was great!!

My roommate recently broke up with her boyfriend. 

Well he broke up with her, but she was kind of glad. Lets just say that for weeks shes been saying "How am I going to get myself out of this?!" So one drunken evening he got mad and left. Of course he thought it was a fight not a break up. But my friend stuck to her guns. Anylongstory, two days later he dropped a little package off at our house. 

And what did it contain? 

Chocolates? No. 

Love notes declaring eternal loyalty? Ohhhh No.

Roses? Not a one.

In the bag were Red Vines (WTF Red Vines? Really?) and a 

mother fucking MIX TAPE!!!

(well it was technically a CD, but "mix tape" just rings truer to the 7th grade mentality that we're shooting for here)

 Yes, you read that right. A mix tape

I gotta say, that it was actually pretty good, but I honestly think that he Googled what to put on it, but whatevs. It opened with The Ramones, I wanna be your Boyfriend. It had some Hank3 mixed in, with some Willy Nelson and a little Stop the World and Melt with You.

The in the end, the 7th grade gesture of love was unsuccessful, and is now blog fodder. 

Poor Bastard. (Don't feel too bad for him, he was nice but kind of a douche bag)

Of course we've moved on from "I miss you", "I want to talk" texts to "Moving on BITCH!" and the process of grief has moved one more step from Denial and Bargaining, onto Anger. 

Or as ALWAYS DRUNK, NEVER A BRIDE said yesterday...  

"'Anger' This I would like to call functional alcoholism." 

Well said my friend, well said indeed.

The receptionist at my doctor's office hates me. (bear with me, this gets complicated)

First she was super bitchy when I called to set up an appointment. SO SORRY to interrupt your fucking day. ITS YOUR JOB BEEEYACH! *deep breaths* Anywhoodle, we got it set up and when she was asking about what I was coming in for, she asked me 3 separate times...

"Have we set up an appointment for your?" 

ME: Yes, tomorrow 10:30.

"And what time would you like to come in?"

ME: We already said, 10:30.

"What time works best for you?"

ME: TEN FUCKING THIRTY LADY!

*this may be an exaggeration.

Cut to, next day. I was 8 fucking minutes late. I run in, "Oh My! I'm SOOOO LATE!" (half joking of course) and she says "OH, I don't know if we'll be able to see you. How late are you?"

ME: ummmmm... 10 minutes?

She "goes back" and asks the doctor if he can still fit me in. I think she filled up her coffee, because my doctor is super cool and totally would have seen me, no matter how late I was. So we have to reschedule. Thanks.

Again, perhaps a slight exaggeration.

So today, I go in for my appointment at EIGHT THIRTY!! I have the appointment card to prove it. I get all checked in, and the intake nurse says, "Oh, your appointment was at 8! Did you know you were a half-hour late?!" 

What. The. Fuck.

Thank Goodness the doctor still saw me today. I LOVE how if I'm ten damn minutes late he "can't see me" with Grouchy McButter Pants thinks I'm too late, but when I'm a half hour late I can be seen. Well Fuuuuuuuuuck Yoooooooooou lady! I'm so emailing my doctor and telling him about my experience with her. SUCK.

And I leave you with this:

My room mate has taken a cab home drunk from the bar so many times, that they gave her a punch card.

That's right... Buy 10 get one free!!

Hahahaaa!

I love your drunk ass J*

*smooches*

Now go see Stacies Madness who also did a Random Shiz post for today! :)

P.S. My apologies if I'm not getting to your blogs. I am desperately trying to get to them all, and honestly I'm just not commenting as much as I used to. SORRY!! I feel so guilty! Which then uninspires