I'm turning 35 this year.
This of course begets the, "What am I doing with my life?", "Am I happy?", "Why the hell am I still friends with this person?", thoughts.
This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide.
You can see very clearly two kinds of people.
On one side, people who
have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find themselves and their
dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed
through to become real live adults.
Then there’s the other kind, who are
hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get
another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not
great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop
intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big
frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended
adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.
I don't want to be like that. Don’t be
I feel like I'm stuck. Don’t get stuck.
I work with a dear, sweet wonderful woman, who forgets to live today. She lives in yesterday and tomorrow simultaneously. She refuses to "grow roots" because she knows shes moving in a few months. It makes me sad because I feel like shes not giving me a chance to be her friend. I have to remind myself that its her loss. Making herself unhappy because she misses people of yesterday, but never looking at today because all she can think about is tomorrow.
I don't want to live like that.
Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. This is what I feel like I need to do. But what? But how?
There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is
neither. I feel like I'm in the inbetween.
This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy
hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every
once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.
I'm asking myself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m
living? What have I tried this month? Do the people I’m spending time
with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my
life that’s keeping me from moving forward?” Now is the time.
closely with people you love, and with people who believe life is a
grand adventure. This is a big one.
Trying SO HARD to not get stuck in the past, and not try to
fast-forward myself into a future I haven’t yet earned.
I try to constantly remind myself life is a journey, not a destination. Try to give today
all the love and intensity and courage I can. Think positive. Plan, but not forget about today. This moment. This now.
small things. Do big things. Do the things that make me happy. That
make me move to where I want to be, but not forget where I am right now.
Today is a gift. Not everyone gets a tomorrow.