best. movie. ever.

There are few words that can describe the movie I watched the other day. While browsing through my NetFlix online available movies, I came across this goddie in the "Gory Horror" section. At a whopping 68 minutes long, clad with what looks like an entire porn star cast (and with the expected acting skills to boot), and with its first boobie shot at exactly 0h0m into the film, is probably one of the funniest fucking movies I have ever seen.

And I've seen a LOT of movies.

The basic plot:

A homicidal turkey axes off college kids during Thanksgiving break.

I know, right?! Talk about a recipe for ultimate awesomeness!!

Let me get this out first so you understand what exactly what you are getting yourself into. This movie is stupid as hell so you need a sense of humor to enjoy it and that’s exactly what I did. It was a boring Tuesday evening so we decided "how could we not watch this movie?" and pressed play. The next thing I knew my sides were hurting from laughing so hard, and since its barely an hour long, we went to the store, bought more beer, and watched it again. 

The turkey is pretty "gangsta" for the most part, even saying "Nice tits bitch" after he offed the topless puritan in the woods after the very first Thanksgiving. Theres also another great scene when the turkey went to some chick’s house looking for her, and her Dad answers the door dressed up as a turkey for his annual costume party. They sit there at the dinner table sipping coffee while chatting and the turkey has on these black Groucho Marx eyeglasses. Finally the turkey has had it and adds daddy to the victims list. I mean, really? HAHAA!

However I have to say that my favorite scene during the movie is when the turkey is hitchhiking and an unsuspecting driver picks him up.

seriously?

Then the driver opens the door and asks "Gas, Grass, or Ass?" The turkey basically implys he has no cash or weed, so he'll be providing sexual services to the driver, how I have no idea. The driver unzips his pants, like he's excited (?) to get head from a turkey. [Think it couldn't get any worse? Oh no, the scene goes on.] It is at this point that the turkey pulls out a shotgun (riiiight) from under his feathers and sticks it in the guys face, and then, fingerless as he may be, manages to pull the trigger and shoot the guy in the face. Oh yeah, then he steals his car and drives off.

Seriously.

No. I mean seriously.

no, seriously!

I must insist that you all watch it immediately, or buy it from Amazon.com. I guess the unrated one is 1h26 minutes, so somehow they squeak out an twenty minutes of deleted scenes.

I'm ordering my copy right now!