i believe.

Dear Santa,

I've been very good this year. I picked up my clothes almost every day. I tried really, really hard to be nice to my brother. I shared my blanket when cuddling with Mr. Man. I ate my vegetables. And I washed behind my ears.

All I want for Christmas is a new job. Something with good benefits. A regular work schedule. Preferably using my degree, but I won't hold you to that.

Thanks Santa!

best thirty seconds of my life!

Hey! I know that posting videos is a pretty lame way of keeping "up to date" on a blog. However -- I literally just can't stop listening to this!!! The last 132 views are mine. Andy Sandberg is hubba hubba!! I love The Lonely Island!!

oh yeah... that's Jessica Alba... and Blake Lively.

"So this one's dedicated to them girls 

who let us flop around on top of them!!" 

Yup... That's us ladies. You know we let them flop all over us. And back again. And we love it. Dammit!

Oh and, I just spent the last hour showing my mom all the Lonely Island videos including "I'm on a Boat" "Mother Lover" and "Jizz in my Pants" (Um HELLOOOOOOOOOO! Where have you been?!)

P.S. She likes "I'm on a boat" the best!

If you're not feeling Christmas-ey enough... enjoy this Dan-Band action... dedicated to my dearest fan "Anonymous" Jess:


I ♥ them too!

Merry Frickin Christmas Y'all!!

best of christmastime, no shopping required

eggnog! christmas carols champagne bringing trees indoors vacation days snow globes  snow holiday movies christmas lights board games pie humongous dinners candles family cookies mistletoe charlie brown christmas candy pigs in a blanket snuggling spiced cider Bing Crosby crackling fireplaces  
  candy canes  snowmen  cards mittens schnapps  poinsettias wreaths nutmeg jingle bells Blitzen Santa hats

its too late to be "nice"

I'm finally DONE shopping! Thanks goodness for internet shopping and expedited shipping!! My Holiday giving was nearly thwarted by my lack of unemployment fundage. Long story short, I've borrowed money from my mom to get everyone gifts, until I get paid next week. Yayyyyyy for debt! At least my mom doesn't charge me interest. But I do feel a tremendous amount of guilt for being a non-self sufficient adult. But that's neither here nor there.

My post today is about STOCKING STUFFERS! I came up with some pretty kick-ass relatively cheap ones, and wanted to share. I'm such a giver!! They're also great for last minute gift ideas for anyone you may have forgotten!

Walmart $2.40

I laughed OUT LOUD when I saw this.  

Sears $6.50

 Baggie holder. Great for freezing left overs, soups & sauces.

Target $4.50

 Cups and balls, its the gift that keeps on giving!

Walgreens $6

Even Santa knows that hangovers are no joke.

Walmart - Pack of 4 for $9 (easy to split into FOUR gifts!)

Almost everyman appreciates BBQ sauce, and beer.

Target $6

Silicone brush works great for marinating, basting, brushing butter on corn or bread. Its AWESOME!

Target $2.50

Slinky's are awesome for any age! 

I just gave one for a gift exchange and everyone was fighting over it!

Walmart $1 each!

Who doesn't love cuttie little rubber duckies! Great for holiday bathroom decor!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

may "the force" sleep next to you

Check out my super awesome Star Wars bedside table I made for my bro for Christmas. I'm so proud of my efforts I felt the need to share!

Vader drawers

don't judge my unfinished hardwood floors...

All it took was 4 old Star Wars posters, a used bedside table and a bottle of Mod Podge (the most versatile crafty stuff ever!)

1. Clean your table. 
2. Fit and cut your posters to where you'd like to place them. 
3. Dip posters in the sink so they're damp. This helps them adhere flat, and causes less bubbling (think applying wallpaper)
4. Use a small paint brush and apply Mod Podge to the surface, lay down and arrange your picture. 
5. Press out air bubbles with damp wash cloth. 
6. Apply a generous top coat of Mod Podge (don't worry, it dries clear). 
7. Apply 2-4 more coats. Et, voilà! Très jolie!

This was such a super easy project! It took less than an hour. If you try this, I highly recommend using a table that has straight, squared edges. And use a razor blade instead of "trimming" with scissors. I messed up a few times cause my paper stretched a little bit once wet and pressed flat. I didn't follow the rule of "measure twice, cut once". Doh!

What's really funny is that his wife actually was the one who asked for a bed side table for Christmas. Too bad I had this planned out before I got her list!! O.o

a festivus miracle!

Best commercial I've seen in years...

Random *White Elephant* Shit Tuesday

As someone who has to participate in 3 (THREE!) White Elephant exchanges this year (not to mention the 2 "regular" gift exchanges) I was in need of some brilliant inspiration. Unlike some of my friends, I don't have a bevey previous years white elephant gifts to reuse. My friend has a "gorgeous" koi sculpture, that would be... a... centerpiece? ... kitchey bookend?... uhhhh... no idea. So needless to say its been the subject of regifting in her office for the last 6 years.

But for me, I want something awesome... and awful. But not like smelly gym socks awful, but "ohhhhhh my God where the HELL did you find THIS?! awful. After some careful research, this is what I've found, and want to pass the inspiration on to you dear friends :)

Best White Elephant Gifts:

1. Hubcaps for a car no one owns

2. Spam
Preferrably a giant Costco or Sam's Club size

3. Fake chest hair
 
4. Toilet seat

Tell me this isn't AWESOME!?!

5. The Clapper

6. Edible underwear

7. Old bowling pin 

(most bowling alley's will sell old ones for $2-5)

8. A six-pack of really cheap beer.

9. A tourism guide book to Detroit

Or other comparable, un-touristy place

10. Wasabi Lip Balm

www.perpetualkid.com/wasabi-lip-balm

11. Dirt Scented Purfume

12. An Old Calendar

Believe it or not, you can reuse them! 
Google "when my 1998 calendar be good again" and you can find out that its good again in 2036!!

13. Rid or Nix Lice Elimination Kit

14. Picture of yourself on a coffee cup!

15. A framed, autographed picture of yourself. 

My personal favorite

HAPPY ShOPpiNg!

Ooooooo Sssssss Uuuuuu! OREGON STATE! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

New gameday hat... House decked out in Orange lights... ESPN College Gameday is already in town and set up... Begin the countdown to the biggest football game OF THE YEAR!!

My Oregon State Beavers take on No. 1 ranked Oregon (UofO) in Corvallis, ABC @12:30 PST

Watch my Giant Killers take down the D(S)ucks!! I'll be there having the time of my life!! Oooor crying my eyes out getting into drunken fights... Either, or... its bound to be a good one!!!

GO BEAVS!!

that really grinds my gears

when doing a download search for "Rush" one should not be forced to see this:

Two shows coming up that should be stopped IMMEDIATELY

and

Geez. Kill me now.