Wednesday, July 21

speechless wednesday

Not quite speechless per se, but I'm left baffled.
Here's the scenario. Rush hour, 5pm, Tuesday July 20.

via Google Maps. Awesome illustration via Paint. I'm a whiz with technology.
Me: Driving along, getting into the turning lane.

Hippie: Being stupid and hippie-like, not looking, probably blaming the Republicans for his stupid long hair, and expecting the world to revolve around his rusty-electric-moped-driving universe.

Sure the Focus has stopped to let him turn left across 3 lanes of traffic, but did I? NO! Didn't even see him...
and BAM! 
"X" marks the flattened hippie spot.

Well, not really flattened. Impacted, yes. Shot forward about 12 feet, yes. Flattened not so much.

He surprisingly jumped right up, and immediately began blaming me for hitting him. He proclaimed he was "being cautious" and that "he was signaling". Even though he forgot the part where I had the RIGHT-OF-WAY. I handed him his shoe, and waited for the cops to come.

THANK GOD he didn't appear to be injured. Just a scrape on his hand, although I'm sure he'll be hella sore and bruised up tomorrow. I would have been horrified and irrevocably scarred if I had seriously injured him in any way, even if it was his fucking fault.

Hippie ruins perfectly good plastic bumper.

Hippie Mobile, totally rusted out, now missing a fender. Which I'm pretty sure was previously being held on by a bungee cord anyway.

And after 6 hours at work, cause NO ONE would come in and cover my shift... I finally got to go to the hospital to get checked out, after my head was POUNDING, my neck was STIFF and my back was ACHING. (no I swear I'm not a whiny baby)
Hells yes, I was flashing people in my gown.
Vicodin. Hello old friend.

The fucking best part?! His electric moped is NOT REQUIRED to have insurance on it. So he darts into traffic, basically as a "bicycle", and causes a traffic accident.  
HE DAMAGED MY CAR, and my damn insurance has to pick up the bill.  
MY NECK HURTS and I have to put in a claim.

Fair? FUCK NO. I should sue him in small claims court for any and all damages I have out of pocket. Not that I give a rats ass about my bumper scratches, but I should fix it just so he has to pay for it. Grrrrrrrrr!

What a wonderful world. Happy fucking Wednesday. Me and my Vicodin are going to bed now. Hmmmph!


Heather said...

Judge Judy. There's justice there, all the way. Plus, you could DVR your special appearance.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I love the idea of judge judy!!!!! Too bad we didn't get to see a picture of the stupid hippy

Anonymous said...

Sorry McGriddle, that sucks!

Ed said...

Wait. So let me get this straight.

You hit him.

He was on a moped.

You were in a car.

Surrounded by metal and plastic and rubber and seat belts and shit.

And YOU got injured?

Someone was looking for a Vicodin fix.

Brad Carter said...

I HATE how Oregon drivers always stop for people, even when they're crossing multiple lanes of traffic. That seems so unsafe. I've almost hit a person before because of another car stopping for them. Dumb people, and hippy moped drivers, just assume that ALL lanes have stopped.

Crazy Brunette said...

Oh shit bitch! I'm sorry, that blows!

Dingo said...

Day-um! The hippie really socked it to ya' with the no insurance thing. Maybe he feels like he gave the finger to The Man. I hope that's cold comfort to him as he carries his moped around with him for the next month until he can play enough sitar in the college square to raise money for repairs.

Anonymous said...

The patchouli!!! It burns all of my senses!!!

Not even vicodin can take that pain away...

God dammed hippie fuck.

"Seattle" Heather said...

First off McGrid, You hit a Hippie. You did the world a favor.

But you didn't finish the job. What's wrong with you?

That totally sucks about your car...I was a victim of no insurance dumbass drivers myself. I hate those people.

I hope you are doing okay and I'm glad YOU were not seriously injured. And I'm only kind of kidding about the Hippie.

Margaret said...

That has to totally suck ass!

Anonymous said...

gurl u are crazy! i was captivated on every word, and been her dayumm near an hour laffin my a$$ off!.

thats ugly how he causes an accident and YOU have to pay for the privilege.

I'da been hot as fish grease.

You should sue his hairy ass and getcha money. based on principal

Professor Chaos said...

As a scooterist, I am required to point out that that is NOT a moped. That being said, you should definitely drag him on to Judge Judy.

Salt said...

Weren't we just talking about vicodin over here the other day? That's kind of a creepy thing.

I cannot believe this! You should sue his dumb hippie ass for all the patchouli he's worth.

aladdinsane12 said...

what. a. dick. damn those hippies- he was probably smoking that weed, or whatever those kids today call it! seriously though, that sucks. but at least you have pain medication! sweet sweet pain medication.