Thursday, June 10

this shit only happens to me

Two stories. 100% truthiness.


So... I'm feeling kinda like shit yesterday, kickin it at home in my "grungy pj's."  Then I decided to go to subway.  I go to subway, get my Foot Long (half for lunch, half for dinner!) Chicken Terriyaki Yummy Sandwich and head home.

When I get there I realize that there was a three inch hole in the ass seam of my pants! AND... what was really funny was that I was going commando... cause I was in my pj's!!  OHHHHhhhhhhh my Fucking God!!!

So needless to say, the girl and the guy at subway probably got a free show of my ass! I'm such a tease!

And second.

Okay... so this wasn't me. I just found this picture and thought... OWWWW! Goddamn!! Aggghhhh! A thong?!? Ewww... ahhh... ugghhh... fuuuuuck...

ANYWAYS, last weekend I got a bit of sun. And EVEN THOUGH I put sunscreen on my head and in my hair part... I got an awe'sun' burn (haha, puns are funny).

So Sunday I'm in the car with Mr. Man. He says "I think you have some towel fuzzies in your hair."

Me: scouring my head for said "fuzzies."  

No fucking way. 

My scalp is peeling! GROSSSSSNESSSS!

That is all. I think I've embarrassed myself enough for one week.


Anonymous said...

Crap! I wasn't aware Wicked deemed yesterday commando day! At least you weren't in court...

P.S. There is an array of needles and thread in the top drawer on the 'craft shelf' in the garage :)

"Seattle" Heather said...


Note to yourself: Check self in full length mirror before going out in public. :)

FYI: My word verification word is: tudat, not to be confused with "Trudat" only to be used for 'Rollin Deep' LMAO!

Heather said...

Haha. Welcome to my life. I get scalp sunburns pretty much every other week during the summer and warmer months. And then I have nasty ass dandruff in my hair for about two weeks thereafter. Nevermind the pain in the ass that is blow drying your hair during a scalp burn. Ouch.

Ha. That girl... is crazy.

Salt said...

That picture makes me want to scream it looks so painful.

Thanks to my sunburn from last week, I have a bit of peely scalp right now. It's totally gross. And I feel your pain.

One Blonde Girl said...

Ewwwwww... scalp flakies! I got a serious case of that one summer, only instead of the flakies, I had the sheeties, as in, I was pulling sheets of dead skin off the top of my head. My hair was still threaded through it. It was so gross, and now you can be totally grossed out by it too! You're welcome!

Crazy Brunette said...

Holy shit bitch!

Did you not feel a draft????

Professor Chaos said...

I once got 6 little scalp burns from the sun shining through the little air holes in the top of a baseball cap. That damn sun will always find a way to get you!

Lisa said...

OMG, when I used to be in the band in HS/college (don't judge me, I got to play music *and* get into football games for free!) the scalp sunburn was the most dreaded of all. I got at least one, no matter how hard I tried to avoid them, and without fail they always ended in the nasty scalp-peeliness that all sunburns strive to achieve. It sucked. I hate that you're having to live through one!