my new lappy

Yard sale-ing with mom!

Found lots of goodies...

A copy of Swiss Family Robinson on DVD ($2)
Gift bags with tissue paper (25cents)
computer speakers ($2)
cigar box (25cents)
a 2 ton jack, since I don't have one in my car ($12)
wool blanket for my car ($1)

ANDDDDDD a LAPTOP FOR $160! And it works!! Yayy me!

surreal neil

Surreal Neil!!

wonderful wednesday

I'm sitting at the gas pump, and I ask for $20 worth.

My card is declined (since the unemployment checks come Wednesday, Ding!Ding!). I *embarassingly* told the attendant to give me a few minutes and I'd use my phone to transfer money from my savings to my checking.

Before I even had a chance to get my phone out, the woman at the next pump offered to pay for my gas!!

Wha-wha-whaaaa?

Yup, She paid for my gas! She said that someone had done the same for her a few years back, and that it was her turn to return the favor! I'm soooo going to be paying this one forward!

What an amazing, wonderful and unbelievable event in my life.

There's hope for us yet!


Karma totally exists.

Happy Humpday!

random shizz tuesday

I don't have anything really random to tell you today...

other than I totally got VIP passes to SUPER DIAMOND! Yeah! That's right! No getting to the show 2 hours early! Reserved seats bitches!! Booze! Free wine and cheese and all that crap! Yipeeee! Mr. Man has to  go out of town right after work, so Mom and I are gonna go. Honestly I think she'd enjoy the show more than Mr. would! 

 This is gonna be LEGEN... wait for it... DARY!

Now I gotta go be productive and take a shower. Uggghhhh.

welcome race fans!

Its been a busy weekend indeed! Brewers Fest didn't happen due to lack of interest (gasp!). I'm sure the 95 degree weather didn't help...

So Saturday I went with Mr. Man to watch him do his "pit crew thing" at the races. His friend drives a modified car, and next weekend is Nationals, so this weekend was the trial run at the track.

Dussssstyyyyy dust was everywhere, and when they watered the track down you had to really pay attention as to not get hit with a flying clod... which I didn't do... and was tagged in the ear. SONOFABITCH!

Here's some super shitty pics from my craptastic mobile phone!!

Zooooooming around the track

Our friend Doug's modified car, lined up waiting for the start

During the race! Can you see doug?

My hot man working in the pits, repairing some body damage

tent-mahal... or the tajma-tent?

Camping!!

Check out Mr. Man's HUGENORMOUS tent! His dad calls it the Tajma-tent, or the Tent-mahal. (its interchangable you see)

The sun FINALLY came out for some water time, as well as all of Sweet Home's finest. Ghettoooooness galore... Trashy tattoos for miles around... and you couldnt throw a stick without hitting a smoking baby mama (smoking while IN the water, classey).

Enjoying some summer sun and brews! :)

Happy Weekend!

early weekend! and other benefits of being unemployed

I'm patiently waitinggggg...

My bags are packed...

To going camping!! With Mr. Man and his whole family. His dad has eleven (11!) siblings. Mr. Man has over 120 FIRST COUSINS! (that is not a typo) I have 9. Total. Aaagghhhhhh!

Wish me luck! I may need it.

Check out my awesome new necklace!

Its a butterfly baby! $8. Consignment shop. Mad bargain hunting skillz (yes, with a "z") I have!

Happy Weekend!

speechless wednesday

Not quite speechless per se, but I'm left baffled.
Here's the scenario. Rush hour, 5pm, Tuesday July 20.

via Google Maps. Awesome illustration via Paint. I'm a whiz with technology.

Me: Driving along, getting into the turning lane.

Hippie: Being stupid and hippie-like, not looking, probably blaming the Republicans for his stupid long hair, and expecting the world to revolve around his rusty-electric-moped-driving universe.

Sure the Focus has stopped to let him turn left across 3 lanes of traffic, but did I? NO! Didn't even see him...
and BAM! 
"X" marks the flattened hippie spot.

Well, not really flattened. Impacted, yes. Shot forward about 12 feet, yes. Flattened not so much.

He surprisingly jumped right up, and immediately began blaming me for hitting him. He proclaimed he was "being cautious" and that "he was signaling". Even though he forgot the part where I had the RIGHT-OF-WAY. I handed him his shoe, and waited for the cops to come.

THANK GOD he didn't appear to be injured. Just a scrape on his hand, although I'm sure he'll be hella sore and bruised up tomorrow. I would have been horrified and irrevocably scarred if I had seriously injured him in any way, even if it was his fucking fault.

Hippie ruins perfectly good plastic bumper.

Hippie Mobile, totally rusted out, now missing a fender. Which I'm pretty sure was previously being held on by a bungee cord anyway.

And after 6 hours at work, cause NO ONE would come in and cover my shift... I finally got to go to the hospital to get checked out, after my head was POUNDING, my neck was STIFF and my back was ACHING. (no I swear I'm not a whiny baby)

Hells yes, I was flashing people in my gown.

Vicodin. Hello old friend.

The fucking best part?! His electric moped is NOT REQUIRED to have insurance on it. So he darts into traffic, basically as a "bicycle", and causes a traffic accident.  
HE DAMAGED MY CAR, and my damn insurance has to pick up the bill.  
MY NECK HURTS and I have to put in a claim.

Fair? FUCK NO. I should sue him in small claims court for any and all damages I have out of pocket. Not that I give a rats ass about my bumper scratches, but I should fix it just so he has to pay for it. Grrrrrrrrr!

What a wonderful world. Happy fucking Wednesday. Me and my Vicodin are going to bed now. Hmmmph!

random shit tuesday

OH MY GOD. I'M 32!!

Suffering from major cupcake hangover... But oh, so, worth it!!

Fun-fetti cupcakes. A tradition for over 2 decades!

I've finally found a ring that I can fit on my broke-ass finger. Since my knuckle is GINORMOUS compared the rest of my finger, my usual ring hasn't fit since last November, when I originally broke it. I'm pleased to announce I have finger jewelry again!! 

Cute no? The trick is, that is doesn't completely close!! 

So I can slip it over knuckle-saurus and get it to fit nicely.

I mean really, look at the BEAST of a knuckle!!

One of my oldest friends got married this weekend. I seriously almost lost it several times during the vows. They're both English majors, so they wrote their own. I usually get mistly at weddings, especially those of which I'm particularly close with the couple, but his one was rough. I didn't have any tissue with me, so I had to seriously bite my lip to distract myself. Oh, to be that in love...

Congratulations B and T !!

and I think we clean up "real gooood"

Me and Mr. Man. I friggin LOVE this dress

This was in between thievings of drink tickets. There was one per seat, at each table. Well... there were a few unoccupied tables... and a few folks that left without imbibing... so I did what every red blooded thirsty American would do. I went scavaging for drink tickets. 

Everyone at our table got at least 5!!  You're welcome.

(Hey, don't judge! the Groom told me to!!)

And check this shit out...

Oh HELLLLLL YES!!

Neil Diamond Cover Band is performing at the Free Concert Series in the Park here in town. "River Rhythms"  Yes I know... it sounds like, and usually is, a giant hippie fest. But really?!? Is this not shaping up to be the best summer ever?!?

And don't forget... this weekend is

Und... TRINKEN!!

channeling emily post

Etiquette rules, according to McGriddle Pants 

1. Ladies, buy a full length mirror. Take a good look. Turn around. Inspect yourself, before you wreck yourself.
2. If you're going to be late, CALL. And APOLOGIZE. Let them know when, or if, you will be arriving. Others time is just as precious as yours.
3. Hold the door open for people behind you. The door is not that heavy.
4. Mind your fucking child. If your offspring is spazzing, or having a "moment" TAKE THEM OUTSIDE. In a restaurant, theater, or grocery store, it should not be everyone else's issue to have to listen to your psychotic child. I remember being drug out to the car when we were eating dinner at a restaurant as a child. And I'm not a self-involved little shit as an adult. Remember we're raising future members of society, not The Real World. Discipline, or remove. Period.
5. Please do not sit directly in front of me at the movie theater. Seriously. If there are any other seats, sit there. Once all other seats have been filled, ONLY THEN should you sit DIRECTLY in front of me. I try very hard to never sit directly in front of someone. Always off to the side or in another row. EVERYONE likes to put their feet up on the seats, so be courteous and let them. Sit elsewhere. (The same goes with sitting behind me, you seat kicking little assholes).
6. On that note, turn off your fucking phone at the movies. Your texting, even if silent, is BRIGHT, and incredibly distracting, no matter how subtle you are. Your friends can wait 112 minutes to reach your ass.
7. Share you vicodin with others. (like me!)
8. Always make a big deal out of birthdays. You don't have to celebrate getting older, but everyone should have ONE DAY a year that's just theirs. To be an drunken asshole or a party pooper. It doesn't even have to be on the actual day. Just do something. And do something for others too. Fawn over them. Buy them a present, even if its a handle of booze. Its the gift that keeps on giving.
9. In public, no one wants to see your midriff. No one. *This applies to men and women.*
10. Obey all traffic laws. Even in parking lots. Right-of-way is no laughing matter. Don't wave me on if its YOUR TURN TO GO. (yeah Rhode Island, I'm looking right at you). This also means don't stop if you DONT HAVE A STOP SIGN. And for the love of God and all that is Holy, learn to properly use a turning lane, and USE YOUR GODDAMN TURN SIGNAL!!

That is all. For now.

comic gold!

Gallagher! No suspenders or funny hat, but still pretty awesome!

He's wearing an invention of his... men's underwear with the crotch cut out. A new look for The Ladies. Getting his pies ready for some smashin!

Here's the windup...

and the PITCH! Splattttt everywhere!!

Mr. Man shields himself with our sheet of plastic! Some people, like fools, came unprepared. And were doused with everything from mustard to mashed potatoes with rice! Muahahaaa

Hope you all had a great weekend! :)

Friday Funday F*ckedUp F*ckin' Follow Frivolous Fwords!!

Howdy Friday Funday Folks!

Again -- Its the return of Fucked Up Friday Follow!! Link up to this beast and find some new blogs to follow. And perhaps pick up a few of your own. You must be awesome, and a little crazy.



"If you link up, they will come" (whispering in creepy Field of Dreams voice). Do it. Do it.

And for some Friday Funday stuff... here's a list of things I'm totally loving now. Cause they get me through the hard times...

Its a book, ya see... Gets my travel juices flowing...

Ahhh yes... Sta'bucks... Mucho Mucho!!

Just finished season 2. Fucking LOVE this show!

"David Duchovny I want you to love me, to kiss and to hug me
Debreif and debug me, David Duchovny I know you could love me
I'm sweet and I'm cuddly, I'm gonna kill SCULLY!"  

No seriously, Its a real song. Google that shit.

I bought this beer for the name. HELLO!!

Amazingness. Those Widmer Brothers do it AGAIN!

I love watering the plants. Its like a weird Zen meditation for me.

I swear to God, this song NEVER gets old.

"I got my swim trunks! And my flippie floppies!

I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies!"

P.S. If you haven't seen the video... 
 YOU MUST. GO. NOW.  
Seriously.Where have you been?!

Remember him?
That's right. Mother Fuckin' Gallagher.
In all his watermelon smashing glory. I got some tixs for SUNDAY!!!
And no, I don't think it will be Black Gallagher. Dammit.

Happy Friday Y'all!

P.S. My birthday is Monday!! I'm going to be *cough* 29!!