Sunday, May 30

The 7 Not-Quite-As-Deadly-As-The-Original Deadly Sins

Everyone has heard of the Seven Deadly Sins: 
 come on, we've all seen the movie SE7EN

Although not as fatal as the Seven Deadly Sins, which lead to eternal damnation, these Seven Not-So-Deadly Sins tick off the Lord in a big way.

Committing one just may guarantee you a stint in purgatory. Or at least an eternity of wandering through a Wal-Mart in Nebraska. In July.

These seven sins according to McGriddle Pants are:

1. SLOPPINESS -- Heaven is immaculate. A hoarders may make for great "reality" tv shows, but it just doesn't go over well with the Big Man upstairs.

2. DULLNESS -- Boring others to death by telling the same corny jokes again and again can be more excruciating than shooting them.

3. PHONINESS -- Putting on a bogus British accent when you merely vacationed in England for two weeks angers the Lord.

4. RUDENESS -- Even if the person you're talking to is only a "lowly" waitress, be polite jackass.

5. COWARDICE -- If you're the type who stands by watching when bullies are beating up some nerd, your "goodness" is useless.

6. IGNORANCE -- It really irks God when someone prays to Him using poor grammar.

7. BLIND OBEDIENCE -- In some cases, being too much of a "yes" man, like Adolf Eichmann, can land you in Hell forever. 



Crazy Brunette said...

I hate lying...

Even though I'm damn good at it!

MrsCaptKerk said...

Can I get an amen?!

Anonymous said...

What about "patronizing a person" or as I like to say, "fake as the leather in my car"

denise said...

HAHAHAHA. That was great.