Thursday, May 6

i loves me some starbucks. but sometimes...

Riddle me this:
Lady goes to starbucks. Takes a good 5 minutes to come up with an order her coffee, her hot water, and her cold water. This seriously confused the dimly lit bulb at the register. She then uses 3 separate gift cards to pay for the transaction. She still owes another $1. Rifling through her change she comes up with the dollar. THEN she wants to add $10 to one of her gift cards, and puts it on her Visa. Really? Really? Hurry the fuck up. This is of course after I made the decision to NOT use the bathroom first, but to order my drink, then use the potty, and then pick up my finished drink. Holding strong I place my drink order. The usual, grande non-fat Cinnamon Dolce Latte.

DimBulb: "So that's non-fat?"
Me: Yes.
DimBulb: "Do you want whip cream?"
Me: "No thanks"
Me thinks: No, that kind of defeats the whole non-fat thing dumb-ass
DimBulb: "So, sugar free syrup?"
Me: No.
Me thinks: That would be a Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte. That shit is gross.

Then as I rush to the potty, two women come in from outside and LITERALLY cut right infront of me, and they BOTH go into the restroom (if any of you are aware, starbucks only has one toilet per restroom). As my eyes bug out I shake my head. The man reading the paper laughs. I stand there for about 30 seconds listening to them chit chat and laughing and I decide to use the men's room. Seriously.

THEN I go to pick up my drink, and DimBulb didn't actually write "NF" on the cup, so the barista accidently made a regular one. I felt bad for her having to work with DimBulb.


I go to St'Bucks today. Order up my drink and sit down in a cozy chair to read my book. And I look over to the other chair, and what do I see?
Yeah... that indeed IS what it looks like. 

I'm out. *barfff*


Salt said...

I will never understand the whole "do you want whip" on a non-fat drink. The people that work at my S-bux ask me the same thing when I order what you did or my non-fat peppermint mocha. And NONE of that sugar free syrup. Gross.

And then I got to the bottom of this post and promptly threw up in my mouth.

MrsCaptKerk said...

You two need to come by the starbucks I go to. They are awesome. Whenever I go in its a sweet old man, a sassy middle aged woman, and the stereotypical gay man barista.

They never question my order and are a hoot to talk to!

Mrs. Beer said...

Uggghhh. Fingernails on a Starbucks chair is ALMOST as gross as the fingernails people leave on apples and potatoes in the grocery store.

PS. I feel like I could have written this. I feel like this has probably happened to me. If it hasn't already, it will soon, and I will just copy and paste this post onto my blog if that's ok with you.

Mrs. Beer said...

PS. People don't really leave like loose hanging finger nails in the grocery store... they leave indentations which is just as repulsive.

"Seattle" Heather said...

THAT Shit was wrong on SOOO many levels.

Nobody fucks with my Starbies....EVER...they get hurt.

aladdinsane12 said...

FINGERNAILS??? who does that? who drinks so much coffee that they're jittering off the walls and ripping off their own fingernails? psychos. that's who.

Faux Trixie said...

I hate non-regular starbuck's people. I'm to the point where they know my order and start it when I come in, which isn't even that much, since I primarily drink Dunkin Donuts. When I have to stand in a line or otherwise listen to people order their drinks and hem and haw, I literally want to kill someone. No joke. Just give me my venti sugar free vanilla breve latte (low carb) before I stab you.

Crazy Brunette said...

Oh my mother fucking god!

I would have LOST my shit!

Oh fuck...

literally I feel like gagging, that is one of the grossest things in the entire fucking universe!!!!

I will never understand you fuckers and your Starbucks addictions...

Why do you pay 7.00 for a cup of syrupy shit that totally MASKS the actual coffee.

Give me the DARKEST coffee you got and add some fucking half and half... I'm good to go. No standing in line for 30 minutes and dealing with toe nail clippings!!!

I am only forced to use the boys bathroom at bars... When there is no fucking waiting or this brunette! Fuck waiting 10 minutes in the girls bathroom.

BOYS! I'm coming in!

Wicked Shawn said...

I have a fantastic Starbucks. Like so great they just start mine when I walk in. They seriously rock it!

Last time I used the men's room was at a concert, it was too funny too, it was packed and we just walked right in, we did yell ahead, we were just like, girls coming in, they were all like "hell yeah" and we just headed for the totally empty stalls. Men's rooms also ROCK!

Nail clippings. Do. Not. Rock.

Cathy said...

OK, you kinda lost me with the whole Starbucks rant because I drink black coffee and only about once a month will I get a cappuccino at my local Dunn Bros, but I can understand where you're coming from...if you order non-fat it pretty much goes without saying that you don't want whipped cream. Even I can figure that out!

Those fingernails made my jaw drop. Nasty.